Disappointment -- No soul? LO11900

Mnr AM de Lange (AMDELANGE@gold.up.ac.za)
Tue, 14 Jan 1997 14:13:42 GMT+2

Richard Berger wrote in LO11814

> The post (below) by At de Lange was moving. Long, but moving. It is very
> hard to be open. I have been honest in this list, for instance, and have
> suffered in private E-Mail with insults and profanity. Life can be like
> that. People can be like that. So, with that, being open or not is many
> times about fear and courage.

I can identify myself with you. I have learnt from my mother to be very
honest. But I have not learnt to break through wrong perceptions and
misunderstandings. It is only after a certain experience that I finally
realised how subtile perception and understanding really are. With that
realisation came the awareness that many of my sufferings (owing to my
honesty) were the result of wrong perceptions and misunderstandings - and
that I was as guilty as the other party in it. Since then, by trying to
avoid wrong perceptions and misunderstandings, I suffered far less.

Again, that certain experience was in nature. One day, upon receiving
information, I went to look for a succulent with the name Ceropegia pygmea
which grow in dry savannah. It is very rare. I had the exact locality,
within a meter. I could not find it. It became very hot, but I kept
hunting for it. At five o' clock in the afternoor, after 9 hours of
searching, moving in wider and wider circles, I decided to call it a day.
In that moment of disappointment, I drove angrily my pick with one mighty
blow through a tuft of grass, shouting: "why the hell are you not
Ceropegia pygmea"! When I pulled out the pick with much difficulty because
my anger was immense, a tuber came out. The pick went right through it. On
closer examination, I suddenly realised it was the sought after Ceropigia
pygmea - a master of deception. It camouflages itself exactly as a tuft of
grass. I was nearly feignted with shock. I then screamed with delight -
and pain for losing my first find. I started to pick at other tufts like a
madman until dark, then thinking eagerly that they actually were common.
It was the only one to be found.

Since then I have found a few more. probably more than anybody else. In
each of these findings, despite the camouflaging, the plant sought stood
out among thousands of other plants to be covered by the eye, even at the
first glance on the area. I became very aware that this almost unreal
ability to recognise immediately a C pygmea, despite the very good chance
for deceptions, depended on the 'gestalt' or whole picture within me.

In other words, what I wish to tell you is that by deceiving myself, I
have caused myself much suffering. I further wish to tell you that by
working very hard on the whole and clear picture within me, I have been
able to prevent and rectify much of these deceptions.

[snipped - some fine insights]

> Thanks again, At de Lange, for a moving post.

Thank you very much for your kind words.

> [Host's Note: I am quite disturbed that people writing to learning-org
> might receive unpleasant email as a result. I believe this is infrequent,
> but I am aware of other instances. ...snip... ...Rick]

Rick, none whatsoever stemming from contributions to this forum. But this
is rather exceptional. I cannot say the same of some other listservers and
especially the open news groups. However, I have noticed a rather strange
pattern: the less the 'lust for learning' on such a forum or news group,
the more the lust for reviling another person. Maybe it is a new law which
we can call the "law of reciprocal lusts".

[Host's Note: Thanks, At, for the clarification. Yes, unpleasant responses
are fairly frequent elsewhere on the list. A syndrome of rapid escalation
helps this happen. It's a credit to the quality of the readership that
that makes it very infrequent on learning-org. ...Rick]

Best wishes
- --

At de Lange
Gold Fields Computer Centre for Education
University of Pretoria
Pretoria, South Africa
email: amdelange@gold.up.ac.za


"Mnr AM de Lange" <AMDELANGE@gold.up.ac.za>

Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>