In LO11783 Mnr AM de Lange wrote:
> Finally, I think that there are more openhearted revelations on this
> maillist than we are able to discern. Many such revelations exist, but
> most of them happen in the protection mode! Do not ask me to point them
> out, except in a private tutorial situation, because it will not be fair
> to destory such wonderful protections. Try to pierce through the
> protection mode if you need to make more connections. Be patient because
> few have developed the inner power to reveal themselves also in the
> unprotected mode. And if they do and some of the pain comes through,
> comfort them with your caring and love. I do not think that we have reason
> to be disappointed any more, except if we remain ignorant.
You make an excellent point and provide a lead-in to a corollary, as well.
Destorying those protection mechanisms can be brutally fatal to
open-hearted people. What is also potentially damaging is the way in
which we respond to them once they open up to us.
Few have spent much time learning how to recognize true openness, much
less respond to it. Fewewr, still, have spent much time practicing this
type of response in order to master it. A poor, albeit well-meaning,
response to genuine openness can appear as an attack to the person opening
up.
How can we best respond to such openness, have a meaningful interchange,
and leave the other person trusting us in the aftermath?
--JC Howell <orgpsych@csra.net>
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>