Sherri Malouf wrote:
> It seems to me that when our beliefs/buttons get pushed -- eg going to a
> funeral we believe is a sad event therefore we cry -- we will react
> according to those beliefs.>
I think you hit the nail on the head.
> It seems to be our challenge to take a step
> further in our development by getting beyond Pavlov's dog cycle of
If that is development, then I would have to agree, but I don't know that
it is development to leave part of our nature behind.
> How effective am I at doing this? Sometimes very, sometimes not at all.
> But I know when I get into stimulus-response I am into victim mentality
> (however acceptable -- eg the funeral example is pretty safe) and cannot
> be as effective or creative in the situation.>
Is it necessary for there to be a "victim mentality" when there is a
positive response to a stimulus? Isn't that much too limiting? I can
think of too many possibilities other than negative ones that don't
require any sort of victimization complex.
> In addition, there is nothing WRONG with being moved by something.
> It's all a question of
> effectiveness and desire. If it is not critical for me to be a certain
> way then I can react and even revel in the reaction. However, if my
> reaction is inappropriate and diminshes my effectiveness then that is
> one button I would like to clear out.
Doesn't this discussion of effectiveness and desire imply pre-conditioning
and assumptions before the fact? Does this not also require analysis after
the fact, to decide whether or not one's reaction was indeed
inappropriate, and in fact did diminish your effectiveness? It sounds a
little like a rehearsed speech, not a human interaction, does it not? It
doesn't sound like an experience which I would enjoy having, perhaps only
enjoy watching. A little too much like "1984" for my blood. I understand
what you are saying, only that I don't, for myself at least, view
emotional choices as menu options. That's what the emotions are about,
feelings, not logic. Thanks for your observations.
Regards, John Constantine Rainbird Management Consulting Santa Fe, NM http://www.trail.com/~rainbird
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