The 9 Types of Web Page Creators
Joe/Jane Average College Student
- Traits: Owner of a new university-supplied
computer account with httpd access. Complete lack of originality.
Multiple references to beer/Disney movies. Several photos of
Student with college buddies (high school, if freshman Student).
- The Good News: They don't know how to get
their page linked to the outside world, so only they and their
friends download their 16.7-million-color pictures from the last
party.
- The Bad News: They, their friends and their
16.7-million-color pictures might be on your server.
Mr. "Enhanced For Netscape"
- Traits: The second thing you see on his
page is a Netscape logo and a link to an ftp site where you can
download Netscape <BLINK>NOW!</BLINK>. The first
thing you see is about 80 different <TITLE>s scrolling
back and forth across your screen.
- The Good News: You won't have to look at
their pages for long, because there won't be much there to see.
- The Bad News: Half of the rest of the people
who look at their pages are going to think "Hey, that's
cool!" and copy the source.
The Old-Timer
- Traits: Pages compatible with HTML 1.0,
no graphics and very few attribute tags. Normal-text-size message
at top says "This page not enhanced for Netscape. Cope,
whipper-snapper."
- The Good News: He's likely there because
he has something of importance to say.
- The Bad News: Whatever it is will likely
be boring or far too technical for you.
The 5-Year-Old
- Traits: Pictures of their parents, the family
pet, etc. More data about the daily life of a kindergartner than
you thought possible. Cute "kiddy-talk" dialect to
the text. <ADDRESS> contains the note "such-and-such's
mother helped her build this page."
- The Good News: The first few of these you
see give you a warm, fuzzy feeling.
- The Bad News: The last few dozen of these
you see all look the same.
The Computer Science Major
- Traits: Links to the linux FAQ, the Geek
Code, Star Wars theme music and DOOM .wad files. Cautious use
of Netscape enhancements. Picture of Darth Vader instead of personal
pictures. HTML 3.0 (Beta) compliant seal-of-approval at bottom
of her page.
- The Good News: If you're a geek, you'll
find what you're looking for here. Even if you're not, you'll
like the page design.
- The Bad News: Complete lack of socially
redeeming qualities. Unfortunate tendency to upload specs of
their home PC.
The Businessman
- Traits: Pages without fancy backgrounds
and with only one nice, clean, imagemap. Unfortunately, there
are no text-links for those using Lynx.
- The Good News: You won't go blind staring
at his pages.
- The Bad News: You might wish you had once
you see the prices of the goods/services he's offering.
The Newbie
- Traits: Very little created text on their
pages, it's almost all links to other people's pages. Missing
right brackets in <A HREF>s kill whole lines of information.
Several image files are not able to be loaded. <CENTER>.
- The Good News: They'll almost have to get
better.
- The Bad News: They just might not.
The Egotist
- Traits: Large image of them self greets
you when page is loading. 1/2 Meg .au file of him chatting with
his dog. Access counts shown for every page. Several lengthy
pages devoted to his compact disk/Magic card/beer bottle collection.
More personal details than you'd ever want to know.
- The Good News: There isn't any.
- The Bad News: Frequently friendly with Mr.
"Enhanced for Netscape."
The Maniac
- Traits: Last counted 1267 .html files in
his public_html directory and 100+ CGI scripts in his cgi-bin
directory. Is known as a "Close Personal Friend of Bob [Allison]."
Thinks the people at Yahoo! "don't keep up with the Web
fast enough." Will be the first on his block to have an
ethernet cable hard wired into his brain.
- The Good News: You could go through all
his pages and never find an error.
- The Bad News: You'd never make it through
all his pages.
This page maintained by mhaynes@pizza.bgsu.edu Last updated
November 13, 1995.
Michael Haynes' present whereabouts on the net unknown
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