Subject: A Valentine's Day Story From: sammie@world.std.com (Samantha Wilkinson) Date: 1997/02/13 Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Message-ID: <E5K3rB.FF5@world.std.com> Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
by Samantha Wilkinson
[Generic CHICK sits in her living room. NICK enters the room]
Here. [Sticks arms straight out. In his hands are two bedraggled roses and a small box. CHICK grabs these items.] I bought you some roses and a faux pearl bracelet with five dollars I begged off of my Mom. The salesman told me that faux means extra-good. I would have preferred to spend the money on a video game, but you chicks expect this sort of thing. Advertisers have convinced me that these are the items that every female wants on Valentine's Day. Oh, and I also got you a whimsical Hallmark card. "Be Mine." There's a picture of dwarfs with pickaxes in front of a tunnel opening. Ha. Ha. Ha. Get it? I even signed it "From, Nick" to make it more personal.
Wow, thanks Nick. But I told you already that I'm allergic to flowers.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we have sex now?
[They kiss]
THE END