Fortunately, I got to her first.

Subject: Re: Really awesome contest prize! From: sammie@world.std.com (Samantha Wilkinson) Date: 1996/07/14 Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Message-ID: <DuJqDv.AvM@world.std.com> Keywords: lottery,prize,contest,yoghurt Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA

Notice to the readers of A.R.K.:

This exchange between me and Mr. Jones will NOT degenerate into a Jaffo/Ellen Holmes type thing in which we feel compelled by virtue of our residency in the same state (well, actually I currently live in Mass. spit. But I still have my NH driver's license. And I drive there fairly often!) to swap in-jokes, flirt outrageously, constantly make sexual innuendoes and unscrupulously compliment each other's sexual prowess, IYKWIM.

NO!

In New Hampshire, we have better things to do than spread smut on chat groups that OUR CHILDREN could be reading.

Mr. Jones and I are going to be pretty darn busy

Tatooing our bodies with "Buchanan for President" banners

Imbibing wisdom from the latest editorial columns of the "Union Leader"

Shopping for items of honest-to-goodness American craftmanship

Attending school district meetings and protesting the wasteful expenditure of our hard-earned tax money on such frivolities as actual classroom space and textbooks published AFTER the 1950s.

Forming up a militia group dedicated to tracking down and killing those Un-American traitors who covered up, defiled, mocked, or failed to recognize the innate wisdom and truth of our mighty motto "Live Free or Die." No-one has the right to make fun of our slogan!

Sam