Subject: Urgent letter for Kibo From: sammie@world.std.com (Samantha Wilkinson) Date: 1996/10/25 Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Message-ID: <DzuowC.IEw@world.std.com> Keywords: bananas, hangers, showdown Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA Summary: The battle of the century
Dear Mr. Kibo:
The other day while in the supermarket I saw a display of Banana Keepers (patent pending). Please tell me how the Banana Hanger you described a while back compares with this competing model. Does it have the same attractive Hangman gallows shape? Or come in a shade (white) perfectly designed to blend in with my decor? Does it offer the same enticing combination of style and functionality, placing it firmly in the categories of both kitchen accessory and object d'arte? Although the product is labelled a Banana Keeper, it seems to be a device upon which one hangs bananas. In the same spirit of misleading advertising, does the Banana Hanger keep bananas? Does it Help Prevent Soft Spots and Bruises? Would you consider the Banana Keeper worth my investment of $7.99 (I didn't actually look at the price, but I would be willing to go as high as $7.99 for such obviously fine innovation and craftsmanship)?
Please provide me with a comparison of the two, as well as any other appliances and gadgets I may potentially be interested in, in a format similar to that in which you evaluated the Dr. Pepper knock-offs, except funnier. Advathanxnce.
Sincerely,
Samantha L. Wilkinson
Are you cute? I hope you're cute because I have a crush on you but Ida Marie who sits in the next cubicle over said that she heard that you're not cute, so I threw my stapler at her, and then she tried to strangle me with her telephone cord and then our supervisor came over and got really mad and made us stay after work to do extra photocopying and she (our supervisor, not Ida Marie) said that if we didn't Cut It Out Right Now, we would be sent home for some personal time - without pay! So, maybe you could send us a picture. You don't have to be naked or anything. How 'bout that one of you in the latex body suit? Oh, and I want an inscription, too. I'll let you decide what to write. OXXXOOOOOXOXX.
My brother, Little Timmy, says "hi"