Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: mmcirvin@world.std.com (Matt McIrvin)
Subject: Re: What the hell is kibology
Date: Tue, 28 Jan 1997 16:09:59 GMT

In article <32f55567.25295693@news.onramp.net>, jaffo@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:

> WAIT!  What am I doing here?  This isn't my newsgroup!
> 
> I'm cold and frightened.

[Animated simulation of a dolly forward/zoom back. Strange, multicolored shadows creep in as tuba, bassoon and basso singer provide the music:]

Whenever you feel you've gone astray
The Usenet Wuggles come out to play
Their jaws will slaver and their fingers post
And before you know it, your butt is toast!

[A rainbow-colored eyeball twenty feet high scrutinizes the terrified Jaffo.]

The Bullabooboggles will flame and scream
You'll hope that it all was just a crazy dream
Their Guzzawuzz Crunkles will grab at your toes
and hold conventions on the tip of your nose!

[Point of view zooms in on tiny, toothy creatures crawling into Jaffo's nostrils, carrying hobo bindles. Then, it zooms out again and orbits Jaffo spastically, as purple and orange multi-limbed monstrosities emerge from the shadows, singing in a basso-profundo chorus:]

We are the Wunkaluggs of a.r.k
We've come to deliver you a scary day
But just remember as you shiver with fright
That we'll be back again TOMORROW NIGHT!

[Hideous cackling fills the soundtrack as the scene metamorphoses into the folds of Jaffo's blanket, clutched desperately around him. As the single beam of moonlight slides away from the bed, we finally see only his eyes, wide-awake and shivering...]

-- 
Matt McIrvin   <http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/>