From: mcirvin@scws26.harvard.edu (Matt McIrvin)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: Question for Mr. Plutonium re coiffure
Date: 5 Dec 1994 18:01:19 GMT

In article <3br804$a80@dartvax.dartmouth.edu>,
Archimedes Plutonium <Archimedes.Plutonium@dartmouth.edu> wrote:

>   And, Kibo, just the other day I was sitting at a computer station
>when along comes a pretty blonde who sits next to me. It did not stay a
>pretty sight for long because shortly she started to twirl her hair,
>and play with it. And I was doing some physics and math. And I get
>upset over this behavior, just as I hate gum chewers popping bubbles or
>with their mouths open chewing like an animal.

Show Archimedes Wonka leading several naughty children through his
chocolate factory.  An enormous mechanism covered with spinning gears
spews liquid chocolate (colored a strangely sickly red-orange) and
whipped cream.

ARCHIMEDES WONKA:  And *this* is my revolutionary, non-pollutionary
                   Plutonium Atom Everlasting Totalitizer!

TOTALITIZER:  Shlurp.  Shlurp.  *BOING*.  Shlurp.  Shlurp.  *BOING*.

BLONDE:  It makes me want to twirl my hair!

Show blonde twirling her hair.  Show hair getting caught in gears of
Everlasting Totalitizer and pulling blonde into large dark scary chute
from which liquid chocolate pours.

CHARLIE:  What's happened to her?

ARCHIMEDES WONKA:  Well, that chute only leads to the Wonkamatic
                   Interdimensional Guillotine on alternate Tuesdays,
                   so I suppose she has a sporting chance... One more
                   naughty bad child taken care of, eh?

Show orange-faced, green-wigged Oompa-Loompas entering the scene.
They sing a song.

OOMPA-LOOMPAS:  Oompa, loompa, deedle-dee-queep,
                If you're bad you'll get killed in your sleep!
                Twirling hair or picking your nose?
                We'll suck your organs out through a quarter-inch hose!

Cut to commercial, so the kids can come out from under the bed for a
while.
-- 
Matt      01234567   <--  Indent-o-Meter
McIrvin         ^             Harnessing tab damage for peaceful ends!