Home - Humor from a.r.k Matt McIrvin mmcirvin@world.std.com
From: Matt McIrvin <mmcirvin@world.std.com>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: For those of you who don't get cable...
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2003 21:59:36 -0500
Organization: Matt and Samantha's Festival of Japery

In article <kibo-2403032312460001@10.0.1.2>,
kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:

This almost makes me wish I were watching Canadian TV so that I'd have a choice of two programs instead of one.

Come on, Kibo, you have a TiVo, and I know for a fact that the Sci-Fi Channel is still showing "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century." They just showed "Happy Birthday, Buck." That's your favorite! Beedeebeedeebeedee! Yay!

Also the Cartoon Network is now showing reruns of "Futurama," which is the same show as "Buck Rogers" only serious. Maybe I will be able to see all the episodes that I missed because Fox unexpectedly rescheduled them into the sixth dimension.

Our TiVo just died, days after I composed a sonnet in honor of the TiVo, using the beloved Dalek sonnet form:

O TiVo! Without you! I could not view!
The reruns! Shown! On NHPTV!
Because! They are shown! Far too late for me!
I do not know! Whatever I would do!
To watch a TV show! That airs so late!
Perhaps! I would use a! Time Corridor!
That way! I could keep tabs on! The Doctor!
And use this knowledge! To exterminate!

Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
Exterminate! Exterminate! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

(The preceding was repurposed from a LiveJournal comment post and is highly derivative of Douglas Adams anyway. I'm holding back the real creativity for when I go professional under the National Endowment for Usenet. Man, you should see the grant proposals I write. I plan someday to compose the Richard Serra's "Tilted Arc" of the Internet. I figure this should be easy since once I wrote some code that drew a thing that looked sort of like Tatlin's "Monument to the Third International" by accident. I was planning on doing the Andres Serrano's "Piss Christ" of the Internet but I discovered that it had been done already. Then I will write the Great Internet Novel and forge in the smithy of my soul the nascent Cyber-Culture and put it in a magazine called "Wired" and become a trillionaire and then I will show everyone who laughed at my grand unified theory of oats.)

-- 
Matt McIrvin      http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
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