From: Matt McIrvin <mmcirvin@world.std.com> Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Myths. Excuses. How potential sex partners get tested together before having sex. Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 00:43:59 -0400 Organization: Matt and Samantha's Festival of Japery User-Agent: MT-NewsWatcher/3.3b1 (PPC Mac OS X)
In article <RNllb.104403$gv5.62138@fed1read05>, "swt" <swt2@cox.net> wrote:
That poem was so bad, Stacia has every right to call in an airstrike of 6.0221e23 BLAMs in retaliation.
Not at all; it was extremely good, after being irradiated with a concentrated beam of good from the Argonne moral linac.
The team of Prof. August Mannix announced the successful isolation of the kallon (1588), or particle of good, in July 2005 after several years of experimentation on preserved brain sections of humanitarians and spiritual leaders. Thereafter, the characteristic decay signature of the metastable excited kallon' (1703) was detected by the Tevatron CDF collaboration in rare decays of the J/psi.
Means of manufacturing good in industrial-scale quantities and retaining it in electromagnetic Penning traps were developed at Fermilab and CERN, and linear right-beams and moral cyclotrons soon became used as delivery systems. In cases where heinous crimes or travesties of justice could not be prevented, irradiation with a kallon stream would instead transform the crime into a positive good, without changing the physical circumstances thereof. As the procedure became more widespread in 2010-2013 and began to replace the normal criminal justice system, society had some difficulties adjusting to the notion that most murders were now actually good and proper acts, but on further reflection only sociopaths devoid of a moral sense actually continued to object.
As of early 2014 a team at Sandia is currently working on the ultimate development in this direction, a small fusion device surrounded with a liquid-helium-cooled jacket of Bose-Einstein-Mannix kallon concentrate. When detonated this device will exploit instabilities in the interactions of nuclear matter such that the Earth and all things on it will be destroyed and transformed into a sphere of pure moral positivity massing 6 x 10^24 kg. While some may have fleeting regrets about the impending destruction of all life on Earth, it's mathematically undeniable that it will be much better this way.
-- Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/