Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: mmcirvin@world.std.com (Matt McIrvin) Subject: Re: Campaign Date: Tue, 6 Apr 1999 01:26:00 GMT Organization: The World @ Software Tool & Die
In article <7e6dmr$eah@josie.abo.fi>, dagren@abo.fi wrote:
Some day now I'll start my big campaign. It's all about making the world a better place by smacking people that annoy you with rolled-up newspapers. Not just random people on the street (that might be fun too, though), but more infuential, or at least publically visible, people that have made your life more annoying. Like people who make annoying music, commericals, movies, software, and so on.
This is the climax of every Alan Arkin star vehicle.
Watch the exciting adventures of
Starring ALAN ARKIN as Alan Arkin
CHRISTOPHER LEE as the Bad Guy Who Will Be In Anything
For A Dollar
MOONGLOW THE MAGIC DINGBAT as Himself
LEZSTER as the fake Willy Tyler's Lester
Roaming the universe in search of truth, goodness, and Easy Answers, the Alan Arkin Star Vehicle is a magical spaceship that looks like a boilerplate Space Shuttle mock-up until it takes off and turns into stock footage of a Mercury/Atlas launch.
Episode 1: Alan Arkin outlaws junk mail forever and saves the world!
Episode 2: Alan Arkin outlaws parking tickets forever, launches Wallace Shawn into space with the Reverend Peter Sellers, and saves the world!
Episode 3: Alan Arkin kills the incorporeal evil aliens who are the true source of Muzak, and saves the world!
Episode 4: Alan Arkin parodies the Theory of Evolution, proving that he is a genius, and then outlaws annoying homework forever and saves the world!
Episode 5: Alan Arkin uses daily affirmations to change reality so that he has super powers and is president of the universe, then outlaws the comic strip "Ziggy" and saves the world!
Episode 6: Alan Arkin escapes from a wacky insane asylum, and sings! SINGS! SINGS!!!
Episode 7: Alan Arkin, with help from special guest Matt Frewer, demonstrates in detail that network TV is irredeemably evil, then is inexplicably cancelled!
Available only on Bargain Bin Video! Coming soon to the gutted shell of a Woolworth's near you!
-- Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/