(This guy spammed many newsgroups to promote the movie he was allegedly making, an action thriller starring himself and many women repeatedly described as gorgeous and large-breasted. I think he mostly wanted to attract gorgeous, large-breasted aspiring actresses. I used his starry-eyed dreams as an excuse for a cheap joke about one of his spelling mistakes.)
Subject: Re: ***WHO IS AGENT ACTION!?*** From: mmcirvin@world.std.com (Matt McIrvin) Date: 1997/04/02 Message-Id: <mmcirvin-0204971714300001@ppp0a019.std.com> Newsgroups: alt.religion.skibology
In article <5htp9v$epb@chronicle.concentric.net>, agent@agent.com wrote:
> The movie apparently also features lush > exotic locations from around the world. > Excellent cinematography and a tight nit thriller story > round out this highly anticipated > production.
[6-foot, 185-pound, blue-eyed heartthrob WILLIAM BLAIR sits with a BIG-BREASTED NAKED BLONDE in his Action Hot Tub, filled with bubbling liquid Spam. They seem to be performing some sort of chimpanzee grooming maneuver.]
Just a moment, darlin'! I see more nits in your hair, and they're in pretty tight!
Be sure to get 'em all. I may be BIG-BREASTED, but I hate these head-lice epidemics! I get 'em from the kids-- they're always sharing hats and stuff at Kindercare, don't 'cha know.
Fear not, for I am... AGENT ACTION! I'll have them out of there in 45 minutes at the latest.
[Several minutes of silence, punctuated only by footstepts and the rumble of garbage trucks in the distance.]
How about that weather?
Huh?
Enough snow for you?
Ermph. [Hauls a pair of tweezers out of his shirt pocket.]
[Soundtrack bravely essays a bit of "wow-chicka-wow" music, but the tape's only a minute long and it gets kind of repetitive after a couple of cyclings.]
[SCENE MISSING]
THE END
-- More Matt McIrvin than you need! http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/