A Modern Libertarian

Hugh Kramer

Part of the "Critiques of Libertarianism" site.
http://world.std.com/~mhuben/libindex.html

Last updated 10/25/07.

LIBERTARIAN

I am the very model of a modern Libertarian,
A font of information that's politically contrarian,
I know the economics of abundance and prosperity,
And can quote from every pundit with the uttermost in verity.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters theoretical,
And understand the axioms of authors quite heretical,
With Friedman, Smith, Ayn Rand and Locke, with economics Keynesian,
I swing through all their theories like a circus act trapezian.

CHORUS

He swings through all their theories like a circus act trapezian. (repeat)

LIBERTARIAN

I'm very good at splitting hairs; in arguments quite logical,
And giving talks in manners that approach the pedagogical.
In short, on information that's politically contrarian,
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian.

CHORUS

In short, on information that's politically contrarian,
He is the very model of a modern Libertarian.

LIBERTARIAN

I know the mythic history of our lost opportunities,
Of Moots, of Things in Iceland and Utopian Communities,
On Yurok legal systems I can wax in ways quite passionate,
And point out modern relevance in ways that leave you graspin' it.
I laud the rights of ownership and individuality,
Of freedom in the market place and constitutionality,
Though if the latter is (in situation hypothetical),
Any part Statist, then I'll state I'm antithetical.

CHORUS

Though if the latter is (in situation hypothetical),
Any part Statist, then he'll state he's antithetical.

LIBERTARIAN

I can state the failures of our government's morality
And demonstrate the reasons with an eye toward their causality.
In short, on information that's politically contrarian,
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian.

CHORUS

In short, on information that's politically contrarian,
He is the very model of a modern Libertarian.

LIBERTARIAN

Now some may say I sound dogmatic like a priest hieratical,
And preach a jaundiced view of things that verges on fanatical,
That market-place solutions are an article of faith to me,
A viewpoint, they insist, bears no relation to reality,
That medieval Iceland with it's tiny population,
Does not a model make for a super-power nation.
Well if you insist on labels like an amateur taxonomist,
Then I'm the only true man who's a one-handed economist.

CHORUS

He is the only true man who's a one-handed economist. (repeat)

LIBERTARIAN

So what if my alternative to government iniquity,
Is supported solely by examples from antiquity,
But still, in information that's politically contrarian,
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian.

CHORUS

But still, in information that's politically contrarian,
He is the very model of a modern Libertarian.

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