The entire thread can be read at Google Groups: Subject: HOUSE, M.D.: 37. "Clueless" From: MDuPree@theworld.com.snip.to.reply (Micky DuPree) Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.house-md Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2006 08:21:10 +0000 (UTC) Organization: The World : www.TheWorld.com : Since 1989 Message-ID: Lines: 507 Spoilers for "Clueless," 3/28/06. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm sure there won't be universal agreement on the point, but while there's still sarcasm aplenty in the show, particularly House's, I'm finding that the sarcasm is less and less witty as time goes on and comes off simply as self-important attitude and mugging. Elapsed time numbers refer to a videotape copy of the original broadcast with the commercials left in. PROLOGUE I called that the attacker would be the injured party. I did not foresee that he was fake. ACT I 4:54 I was disappointed that House checked his hair for thinning after Wilson's crack about it. It was hard to imagine House caring all that much, particularly after razzing Wilson for his grooming routine. It was nice that House was the sixth doctor the A-plot patient saw, but I had to wonder why this patient seemed to have no trouble getting in to see House on a referral when House had previously tried to chase referrals away. Have the writers given up on House's policy of making everyone pitch a perfect zebra to him before he'll give in? It also seemed highly unlikely that an ordinary guy who didn't manifest his acute symptoms for very long could get to see six doctors in only three days, especially since all but the one(s) in the E.R. were probably nine-to-five specialists who, in the real world, would have been booked up for weeks. I did not at all get why drinking a beverage from a drinker-made hole near the bottom of the can was supposed to be superior to drinking it out of the manufacturer-made hole at the top of the can. It's not like the caffeine sinks to the bottom, and even if it did, you could always turn the can a few times. How did Chase know about Wilson's new living arrangements and the fact that his toenails were loud? Did House get chatty all of a sudden? HOUSE: Hundred bucks says they're as miserable as the next couple. CAMERON: If you ask me, if two people really trust each other, a threesome once every seven years might actually help a marriage. Huh. Was this supposed to be an instance of post-Hunting Cameron trying to break out of her no-fun-zone image (not that the end to "Hunting" painted her as happy with her brief walk on the wild side), or was it just the writers throwing a bone (so to speak) to the Cameron fans? It didn't sound a lot like her, but hey, who does sound like themselves this season? CAMERON: I'll take the bet. Eh? After all the times on this show when the solution to some medical problem turned out to hinge on spousal deceit (including four of the last six episodes)? I know Cameron started out being all Hallmark anniversary card (dating back to "Fidelity"), but what happened to this Cameron from "Failure to Communicate": CAMERON: The more devoted, the more reason to lie. HOUSE: That's cynical. CAMERON: You disagree? HOUSE: No, I'm just kvelling. Our little girl is growing up. The writers don't keep track of anything this season. I guess Cameron is just as "clueless" as the plot needs her to be in a given week. Anyway, as soon as Cameron took House's bet, I knew he would end up being right, which took a lot of suspense out of the episode. It didn't matter what evidence was available, either to House or to the audience. The writers define him as being almost always right. So, given that the marriage was not good, that meant that either it was heavy-metal poisoning after all, or else the "nympho" wife had cheated on the husband and given him an arcane infection that either she had been vaccinated for or else lay dormant in her. I suppose that using the same plot for both the A and B stories might have been a bit much, though. HOUSE: No applause? Yeah, like House ever used to ask for applause for anything, even jokingly. I get that Hugh Laurie is multitalented, but I really didn't see the point of having House juggle as the fellows came in to report. It felt like we were back to the smirking, mugging, circus-like House of the early second season. ACT II 16:48 So much for anyone on the _House_ staff remembering that House 1) prefers women to leave the restroom when he's urinating and 2) washes his hands both before and after. Since I did a commentary on "The Socratic Method" not too long ago, it's fresh in my mind how they used to be able to use a bathroom setting to brilliant dramatic and comedic effect simultaneously. Now it seems to be used as a belabored means of mild fraternity humor or very mild shock value. I got that the patient's occupation was his connection to Mexico, which was where his wife scored the gold poison. But shouldn't one of the doctors have found it somewhat remarkable that a wedding photographer who lives within commuting distance of PPTH in New Jersey (since Foreman searched the house) would get booked to do a wedding in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico? I realize that the rich and famous use a different Rolodex from regular folks', but there was nothing to indicate that this guy was a jet-setting shutterbug. Or do ordinary people really send that far away for wedding photographers? I would have expected House to push at the stuff in his closet with his cane, not with his leg. I was disappointed that they had House as unable to prepare anything more than canned soup and peanut butter. After his speech to Wilson in "Detox" about making his own meals, I thought he was at least more self- sufficient than that, but the second-season writers seem to want to undermine everything that was good about "Detox." On House's DVR menu (all with a check mark): Now Playing Watch Live Settings The O.C. 26th Fri 8:00 pm Spongebob 23rd Mon 9:00 am Spongebob 24th Tue 9:00 am Monster Truck Jam 26th Fri 8:00 pm New Yankee Wrkshp 10th Wed 7:00 pm New Yankee Wrkshp 11th Thu 7:00 pm New Yankee Wrkshp 12th Fri 7:00 pm New Yankee Wrkshp 13th Mon 7:00 pm New Yankee Wrkshp 14th Tue 7:00 pm New Yankee Wrkshp 15th Wed 7:00 pm New Yankee Wrkshp 16th Thu 7:00 pm New Yankee Wrkshp 17th Fri 7:00 pm Blackadder 10th Wed 5:00 pm The O.C. 12th Fri 8:00 pm The O.C. 29th Fri 8:00 pm Spongebob 25th Mon 8:00 pm Nice continuity with "Histories" on _The O.C._ Cute in-joke with the _Blackadder_ recording (although I couldn't see a real PBS station wasting _Blackadder_ at 5 p.m.). It has always seemed strange to me that House doesn't tape or otherwise record his daytime soaps, since he has seemed chronically at risk for missing them. Their calendar does not resemble our Earth calendar, but the time line is like a pretzel with scoliosis anyway on this show. WILSON: Now, why do you have a season pass to the _New Yankee Workshop_? HOUSE: It's a complete moron working with power tools. How much more suspenseful can you get? Unless they were transmitting it live, there'd be no suspense at all, and House was the one who sounded like a complete moron. HOUSE: Tox screen? CAMERON: No evidence of lead, mercury, or arsenic. HOUSE: Run 'em again. If House was convinced it was heavy-metal poisoning and the team had eliminated lead, mercury, and arsenic, then why wouldn't he have started systematically testing for other heavy metals until he ran out of them? Sure there are a lot of heavy metals, but there are fewer of them than there are viruses, and the docs run gels on those all the time when they're stymied. HOUSE: Start treating him for lead poisoning. It's the most likely heavy metal. [To Chase] And yeah, you can test him for allergies for dairy, wheat, and legume. I did appreciate that this House was willing to pursue more than one theory at a time, but that still left open the question of why previously this season he insisted it was a wimpy thing to do. It was kind of cute that they made the way to House's heart through his stomach. It was hilarious that he slapped Chase's hand away from the pancakes. ACT III 28:48 FOREMAN: His urine has elevated proteins and red blood cells. It's lupus-induced kidney failure. If we don't start treatment -- HOUSE: Heavy-metal toxicity could cause vomiting. FOREMAN: So would lupus nephritis, and it also causes tissue swelling. HOUSE: He's choking on his tongue, not his feet. FOREMAN: The corticosteroids we gave him to control the inflammation can cause facial swelling. HOUSE: Still not his throat, but you're getting closer. FOREMAN: I'm doing an ANA and serum compliment. HOUSE: If you're so sure, why waste time with tests? Start treatment. Oh, no, wait; we can't do that because we already have and it's not working! Ergo -- FOREMAN: -- ergo steroids aren't the only treatment for lupus nephritis. We could also try cyclophosphamide or immunosuppressants. HOUSE: Only if we confirm the diagnosis with an ANA, serum compliment, anti-DNA, IV pyelogram, and kidney biopsy. FOREMAN: So, now you suddenly believe in tests? HOUSE: The symptoms -- FOREMAN: The symptoms all point to heavy-metal poisoning. Yeah, we all get it. Unless you got proof and can tell me which heavy metal it is, I'm starting treatment for lupus. [House shakes his head. Foreman exits.] As usual, Foreman wanted to confirm his diagnosis with tests. House as much as gave him permission to do those tests. Why, under those conditions, did Foreman then abandon his desire to trust those tests and rush blindly into treating for lupus just because of one gibe by House? Why did House let him when he thought Foreman was wrong? They both seemed way out of character here, and I'll revisit the point later. This used to be a character-oriented series disguised as a plot-driven story. Now they're increasingly willing to sacrifice character in order to fulfill what they see as the needs of the plot (in this episode, stretching it out to the full 43 minutes). The note on Wilson's salad container: MY LuNCH DO NOT TOuCH !! This was the same guy who wrote with such stereotypically illegible doctor's handwriting in "Daddy's Boy"? House's first "aha" moment was really weak this week: simply "the wife's to blame," not a medical or intellectual association at all. Team House does MRIs and CAT scans all the time, as well as the occasional PET scan, but this was the first instance I could remember of the doctors doing 2-D x-rays unassisted by an x-ray technician or radiologist. CAMERON: We've done over ten different heavy-metal tox screens. HOUSE: Because there's no reason to test for the other thirty. They don't get into the air or food. They only get in you if someone puts them in you. Here we go. I did not buy that House wouldn't have already insisted on doing exactly those other thirty tests (in whatever he considered to be the least unlikely order) if he was convinced it was heavy-metal poisoning. Which he was. House used to take the Sherlock Holmes stance, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, _however improbable_, must be the truth." I did not buy that it would take the weak association to the mere possibility that the clinic patient's wife was having an affair to get House to think that maybe the A-plot patient's wife was poisoning her husband. The A-plot guy's medical symptoms were far more of a smoking gun for his problem than were the clinic patient's marital relations. By making House back down on the heavy-metal toxicity theory -- twice -- when he didn't have to, the writers subordinated his characterization to the plot. I could have sworn there used to be more space between Cuddy's windows and the buildings across from her office. More magic remodeling, perhaps. WILSON: I'm thinking ... Colonel Mustard -- in the music room -- with the candlestick. HOUSE: There's no music room. It's the conservatory. This was the explicit reason for applying the title "Clueless" to this particular episode. But it's not like the characters don't start every episode stumped and have to pull an answer out of the murky unknown. In fact, if anything, House figured this one out pretty early. The writers just artificially dragged their feet on letting him press his case. ACT IV 41:21 CHASE: Interferon isn't an approved treatment for heavy-metal toxicity either. HOUSE: True. But it's pretty much the only thing we can do for a viral infection. We didn't consider it because -- FOREMAN: -- because it doesn't make sense. There's no fever. HOUSE: Because he's got no immune system -- thanks to the immunosuppressants YOU prescribed for lupus treatment. House blaming Foreman for the lupus treatment was a MAJOR "Huh?" moment for me. This plot line should have been used back when Foreman was in charge. Otherwise, Foreman can't override House's orders unless House makes a conscious decision to give in. It just didn't make any sense for House to berate Foreman for treating the patient for lupus when House KNEW that Foreman intended to treat the patient for lupus and didn't stop him. House was the attending physician. Whatever Foreman did to the patient with House's knowledge was House's responsibility. That was a recurring plot point when Foreman was in charge, that whatever happened on Foreman's watch was Foreman's responsibility, and House gave Foreman a hard time for being a wimp and not sticking to his guns when he was the boss. So now, with himself back in charge, House was letting Foreman steamroll over his authority and then blaming Foreman for it? It just did not sound like House at all, either this season's version OR last season's. CAMERON: He didn't present with a fever either. HOUSE: Because at that point he was a post-viral autoimmune reaction, which again, thanks to the immunosuppressants you prescribed for lupus treatment, his immune system basically rolled out the red carpet for the dormant virus, waking it up, turning it into a present viral infection. Give him interferon. FOREMAN: But, if it is lupus, interferon could make it worse, suppress his bone marrow even further. HOUSE: Which is more likely, a rapidly progressing acute-onset lupus in a patient who's already on steroids, or a team of doctors missing a post-viral reaction? FOREMAN: We didn't miss anything. HOUSE: Well, then I'm wrong, and you shouldn't -- [Leans into Foreman.] Give him interferon! So House was all dug-in, insistent, and commanding on the unknown-virus theory, but waffling on his heavy-metal theory? I did not buy that for one second. The writers conveniently weakened House just for this one instance to stretch the heavy-metal plot out for an hour. I found it predictable that if Cuddy was going to call House on the carpet about his clinic behavior, then even if he did screw up, there was going to be someone else's bigger screwup to cover for it. And of course second-season Cuddy couldn't actually give House a scolding with any bite. She just got wowed by his automatic Perry Mason brilliance and fell in line with his antics. At least House's second "aha" moment, associating the gold ring with the gold poisoning, was somewhat more substantive than the first. I doubt Hugh Laurie was anywhere near a bike on this episode since we never saw his face and the bike in the same shot. Just as well. He was in most of the other shots as it was. They kept House in the same building exterior. I managed to miss the piano and the seemingly permanent fireplace if they were in the interior, but I'm not checking the tape just for them. On House's vial: [...]nnous Chloride 5m/cc?? HOUSE: [To maid] Um. Thanks. That was kind of sweet, but then I guess that was when House decided he wanted to keep the maid. I would have pegged House as the kind of person who wouldn't have much trouble remembering where he had put things. He's not quite as extreme as Adrian Monk, but in the past, his memory for details has been depicted as way above the ordinary. HOUSE: When I was a kid, my dad was stationed in a Marine base in Egypt. We were in the middle of nowhere, and there was absolutely nothing for a kid to do except -- look for a mummy's tomb. If House is between 43 and 47 in the present day, then he would have been a minor sometime between the years of 1959 and 1980. Was there a U.S. Marine Corps base in Egypt during that time? Embassy duty would have made sense, but a whole USMC base in the middle of nowhere in Egypt? Am I missing something, or was this impossible? HOUSE: Because you were trying to kill him. I'd love to know the why behind that why, but you're not going to tell me, are you? I assumed this was the implicit reason for titling the episode "Clueless." It would have been one thing for House to be stymied, but it was way past weird that they had him simply give up that easily on finding the wife's motive for poisoning her husband. It's not that we in the audience needed to know why for the sake of the plot. In fact, given the way _House_ is set up, it really doesn't matter to the plot why the patients and their loved ones do what they do. However, it HAS mattered to the characterization of House and sometimes of the other regulars as well to work out such things, since House seems to go for a gestalt approach to putting together a picture of the patient and his environment. House wants to know everything, and he pursues the knowledge he wants, sometimes going to lengths that others consider absurd or immoral to obtain that knowledge. Anomalies used to bug him and supposedly still do, and while he obviously assumes there's no such thing as a happy marriage, I'd expect him to try to find out why here in order to wrap up the case. After all, if it had turned out that the wife had a rare presentation of Munchausen's by proxy or some other psych problem, then the case wouldn't have been completely finished until he had diagnosed her as well. And even in the unbelievable event that House suddenly didn't have the motive to pursue the motive, I'd expect Cameron to want to know the motive since it disillusioned her and made her lose the bet. But instead of staying and trying to find out, all the doctors inexplicably walked away from the wife and spouted theories to one another (which was so very odd looking that finally Foreman asked if one of them ought to go back and stay with the wife in case she decided to run). The camera work came off as weird too. When House delivered the line above, he was reversed right-to-left, so they must have been shooting into the wall mirror, but he also looked cropped, squeezed, and lower resolution. I had to think a bit to figure out what was going on, which took me out of the story. The wife was reversed too, but she didn't look quite as strange. HOUSE: [To Cameron] He's becoming more attractive by the minute, isn't he? That's supposed to be only when they're getting worse, not when they're getting better. The note on Wilson's sandwich container: PROPERTY OF JAMES WILSON TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED! Why would Wilson leave House's home phone rather than his own cell phone as a contact number? Evidently to contrive the last scene. Despite the other out-of-character acts, I was prepared to call this episode mediocre, which is high praise by second-season standards, until they had House erase Wilson's phone message. How much could it have cost him to give his best friend the choice of staying on or moving out? Used to be House was considered a jerk because he told people things they didn't want to hear. Now he simply has no scruples at all, and that's apparently supposed to be the high-concept hook into the character. As Tony Calguire said, "Asshole Doctor" sums him up. Given that House could be seduced into letting noisy Wilson stay longer by the promise of cooking and cleaning, I'm deeply surprised that House didn't just hire a maid/cook himself back when Stacy left the first time. --