Disappointment -- No soul? LO12163

Fri, 24 Jan 1997 07:54:12 -0500 (EST)

Replying to LO12127 --

Gary says,

>> On this list, a number of people are amazed when Ben (one of the well
>> known males on the list) sends some heartfelt or deeply emotional
>> posts. If the same posts came from Sherri (one of the well known
>> females on the list), would people look at it in the same way?

I don't think that sex has anything to do with it. In fact I'm amazed when
people seem to think that a man and a woman should have different
feelings. I don't think women are any more emotional than men; I think the
way we respond to emotional stimulus has more to do with our personal
constitution than it does with gender. The only exception is how much more
complicated the female body is than the male body, and thus the higher
probability of hormonal imbalances.

In my work I make no distinction between men and women. I value people for
the ideas, not their gender. Nothing bothers me more than someone making a
sexist comment to a woman I work with. I have been "in the face" of a
number of men for this type of behavior.

I suppose, in many respects, I behave more like a woman than a man. I'm a
deeply emotional and caring person. I cry easily. I love watching romantic
films (Sense and Sensibility, Shadowlands, Remains of the Day, Gone with
the Wind, The Scarlet Pimpernel, etc.).

I have done all the interior decorating my house. I selected our china,
silver, and crystal. I made the curtains in my bedroom. Whenever I go to
the mall I always wonder through the linens section of the department
stores. I love looking at the sheets, comforters, towels, etc. But then I
was the only boy in my family, so I that is what I did when I went
shopping with my mom.

At the same time I love sports (especially football. . .there's something
about knocking someone else's head off . . . it is incredibly
invigorating!), basketball, raquetball (which I play with women, many of
whom regularly beat me). I also love the outdoors. I love hiking, camping,
and shooting (rifles, pistols, shotguns).

Intellectually I love to read the classics, modern books, technical
writing, historical writing, philosophy, poetry, plays, and magazines. I
absolutely adore the Bronte sisters!

Out of all of this I don't see anything that suggests I am any different
from a female. My work is not better and it is not worst (except when I
work with a woman who is more competent than me, but that doesn't offend
me a bit. I just treat it as a learning opportunity, the same as I would
if it were a man.)

Oh, before I go. . .many thanks for the kind messages about my theory of
romantic love. I've been busy and couldn't respond to all of them. I'm in
the middle of a divorce (a lot of good the theory did me!) and so I've
been distracted. I even got a couple of marriage proposals. . .thanks, but
I'm old fashioned: I'd like to do the proposing!


Benjamin B. Compton bbcompton@aol.com

Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>