I've learned a lot from reading this thread. Some of my basic assumptions
about the list have been challenged. I want to keep "listening" to the
conversation. It has touched both my heart and mind.
In my short life I've reached some pretty significant conclusions about
the heart. I'll share them openly, even though some people may privately
castigate me for my conclusions. Many of these conclusions have been the
topic of lunch time conversations with friends and colleagues, and even
the source of bitter disagreement with religious associates.
1- What is in the heart is not always "good" or "right"; everyone has
darker emotions and thoughts. When we speak heart to heart we must accept
the fact that sometimes we will run into the "dark side" of a person.
Personally I've never allowed this to interfere with my relationships... I
just accept it as a fact of life.
2- Life is hard; be prepared to be hurt. What more can be said? The most
intense pain, and the greatest joy reside in the heart. When we are broken
hearted we can't numb the pain. But when we begin to explore the reasons
why we feel the pain, we open ourselves up to new and powerful learning
opportunities.
3- Each individual is responsible for their own happiness. Heart to heart
c-communication may be a source of joy or increased happiness, but we
cannot count on it to "be the source of happiness." I'm amazed at how many
people have taken issue with this statement.
4- Without a heart we would die. It is natural to protect such a critical
organ -- both physically and emotionally. Don't expect people to speak
from the heart unless they feel you are a trusted and trustworthy friend.
5- When people speak from the heart to you in private, keep the
conversation confidential. Making public private conversations is a good
way to limit hear to heart conversations.
6- Feelings are neutral; they can only be judged when they lead to action.
Allow people to express their feelings without the fear of being judged.
This allows people to be more open and more honest with what is in their
heart. This has as much pertinence to a marriage as it does to an
organization.
7- It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved (part of
a poem I read a number of years ago). Heart to heart conversation is
representative of love (and not necessarily romantic love). When we love
someone we risk betrayal. It is a risk we need to take, I believe, if we
are to be happy.
8- It is not important who loves me, what is important is who I love. The
addage has great meaning to me. It has allowed me to continue to speak
from the heart even when I've been betrayed by close friends and/or
family.
--Benjamin B. Compton bbcompton@aol.com
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>