Stage - Reaction
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Fear underlies all stages (loss of control, powerlessness, abandonment)
DENIAL- Can't be true. Can't have occurred. You're wrong
(this form of denial can be momentary or may last for years)
ANGER - How could they do this to me. (Victim role)
(related to helplessness, can become depression if turned inward)
SORROW - rituals have been developed to deal with the feeling of loss
directly.
The following are 3 forms of sorrow which represent the more common defenses
used to avoid the experience of sorrow and loss.
1) Acting Out - "Okay. Then I'll just do whatever I want "
2) Depression - "There's nothing I can do." (negative feelings turned
against oneself)
3) BARGAINING - "I'll do whatever you say, just don't make me..." when one is
not quite ready to accept change, we try to cut a deal with God or the boss,
etc.
Resolution/ACCEPTANCE - Guess we'll have to work through this.
This stage expresses the acknowledgement of reality and the commitment to
change. This is where one sits at the edge of the unknown, centered and
without a map and employs faith to continually direct their energy toward
their curiosity and away from the fears generated by negative predictions and
other fantasy-based thought patterns.
Marvin H. Berman, Ph.D.
Organizational Systems Consulting
mhberman@aol.com
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