Wheatley Dialogue LO10724

Robert Bacal (dbt359@freenet.mb.ca)
Sun, 27 Oct 1996 01:30:50 -0500 (CDT)

Replying to LO10701 --

On Fri, 25 Oct 1996, Dr. Ivan Blanco wrote:

> I don't know if I will be of any help, but here it goes. This has
> cost me a lot of effort and many years of observation and reflection of
> relationships of all kind. One of the major contributing factors has been
> the relationships between family members, when I would find myself in the
> middle of two or more family members' fight. Also what I am saying here
> does not mean that practice it all the time. It is hard.
>
> I think that most of the mistakes one makes are somewhat based on
> the right/wrong prejudgement. When one sees an event or situation with
> that preconceived notion of righ or wrong, one see only a part of the
> whole.

I think this is true. But there are a lot of depends. First, the role of
mediation would require exactly what you discuss, as I understand it from
professional mediators. But that is a specific professional role (although
it can fit for other personal contexts.

I think also, that not making judgments (which is difficult at best),
taken to its extreme, results in a lack of integrity and principled
behaviour. For example, if I see theft in the workplace, without some
judgement of that event, how can I take action, and does a lack of
judgment applied result in NO action. I think the answer is yes,
particularly at the management level where a lack of principled behaviour
results in expedient behaviour, which is usually disastrous.

> SO one cannot really make a sound decision. Seeing right or wrong
> keeps us from knowing and understanding the reasons that might explain the
> event from both sides. One generally sees only the reasons that support
> the side one takes.

I don't think this is a given. Our whole justice system is based on the
notion that one hears the evidence on both sides, THEN judges. What you
are talking about is the reverse effect. Make a judgment and then fit the
facts in and filter the information.

I think that your prescription (snipped for space) is saying the same.
But I think it is not judgment that is problematic, but the sequence of
events, and the discipline of the party.

Robert Bacal - CEO, Institute For Cooperative Communication
Internet Address - dbt359@freenet.mb.ca
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. (204) 888-9290
Join us at our Resource Centre at: http://www.winnipeg.freenet.mb.ca/~dbt359

-- 

Robert Bacal <dbt359@freenet.mb.ca>

Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>