>When someone doesn't want to hear my point of view, I believe it is
>critical to the sucess of what we are working on, I, the sender need to
>use all the tricks and tools I know of to get the message sent. My
>intention to have a message heard is equally important to the reciever's
>willingness to receive a message.
Scott, I agree that it can be tough to move past all the defenses and get
your message across. I hope in the tools you use that you first try good
old active listening. Often, once the other party feels their message is
understood, they become far more willing to listen to your message.
Also, if they feel safe, for instance that your message is not an attack,
they become more receptive. Here's the tricky part, though. What you
intend as plain communication can be perceived as something entirely
different depending on what their insecurities are. This is where you get
to use all your powers of sensitivity, compassion and diplomacy to
reassure them and create an atmosphere that for them is a safe forum for
communication. If you have that in your toolbox, then I'll bet you're
usually quite successful at not only getting your message across, but also
understanding theirs and even moving on to a greater understanding and
resolution of possible differences.
I'd love to hear what tools you ordinarily use, including if you use the
above, and how well they work for you.
Jill Johnson and Associates, Inc.
Specializing in The Conflict Dojo:
Conflict Management Training based on the
ancient teachings of the martial arts
12932 SE 272 ST, #242 Kent, WA 98031 USA
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