email@example.com illustrates a very realistic family situation:
>In trying to avoid what each doesn't want, they attack each other, not
>looking at the entire situation but trying to blame the other person and
>avoid blame themselves. If they can compassionately recognize which of
>the four areas feels threatened, and if they can understand which
>behaviors encourage negative conflict, and apply cooperative strategies to
>encourage positive resolution (this is ties into the martial arts aspect
>of our workshops)they can move any conflict away from personal attacks and
>toward understanding and resolution of the situation. This of course
>creates positive outcomes, better relationships, and a safer atmosphere
>for addressing future conflicts.
What a great personal example of the unproductive outcomes of blaming. In
my prior marriage, I actually enjoyed these types of interactions because
I used to have the same verbal "jousting" with my mother. WE were able to
enjoy the process without the personal expense of getting our egos
The principles of Covey are once again readily apparent to me. Viz "Seek
first to understand and THEN be understood" I must admit I am better at
avoiding the jousting even though I am good at it and enjoy it. It was
just too destructive with most people.
BTW Jill - have you gotten that garage door fixed yet!
For the fun of it....Keith
Keith Cowan <72212.51@CompuServe.COM>
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <firstname.lastname@example.org> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>