Effective Conversational Practice LO8784

Michael McMaster (Michael@kbddean.demon.co.uk)
Wed, 31 Jul 1996 12:04:39 +0000

Replying to LO8741 --

In my opinion, there are no really useful practices in the area of
speaking that do not include practices in listening. While my experience
with the practices which Rick quite accurately attributed to an earlier
post of mine is not as limiting as described by Robert - that is, I have
found it very useful with antogonistic and even angry people and certainly
with people who have no pre-existing relationship - there are two points
that are required in face-to-face exchange that might also apply (in
modified form) to computer exchange.

The first is that there is a time for listening and that, if there is
significant emotion in the communication, then listening is the starting
place. The practices mentioned are those of expressing. When you have
the "heat" isn't the time for me to express.

The principles can be used as "listening tools" as well. That is, while
people seldom speak this way, it provide a template to listen and to
either fill in what's missing (frequently dangerous) or ask for fuller
expression based on what's missing according to the model.

The second point is that a cannonical form is seldom the one to use in
regular conversation. A cannonical (pure, formal) form is for organising,
thinking, evaluating, etc. It is seldom useful for explicit, direct
communication. This is primarily because the cannonical form seldom
matches forms of socially acceptable communication.

The challenge in all communication is to match the form, content,
intention, context (and more). The explicit forms are to assist in the
internal processes for that much more than to be used in conversation.

Michael McMaster : Michael@kbddean.demon.co.uk
book cafe site : http://www.vision-nest.com/BTBookCafe
Intelligence is the underlying organisational principle
of the universe. Heraclitus

-- 

Michael McMaster <Michael@kbddean.demon.co.uk>

Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>