David,
" 1. Being friendly and being friends are two different things. It is hard
for some people to be stern on the job with people they consider a friend."
I'm not sure what you mean by "stern." Can you say more?
In my relationships, including friends and people I manage, I strive to be
honest in difficult situations (this ain't easy, and I'm only moderately
successful at it). If the other person isn't meeting the needs and
expectations I have for them (in their job or in our friendship), I need
to deal with that congruently. I need to be clear with myself and the
other person about what results or behaviors I'm having trouble with. I
need to communicate clearly how thier actions are affecting me, and how I
am responding to them. On the job, I need to be clear about how their
actions are affecting the larger organization. I need to be clear about
what possibilities are available to me, and to remember that whatever I
choose to do is *my* choice, and not *caused* by what the other person is
doing. I need to stay present, and open to the wide range of responses
the other person may choose.
Whatever kind of relationship I'm in, when I'm able to do these things
well, the relationship works better. When I'm not able to do them well,
the relationship falters.
" 2. Friendliness is a probable need to be a good manager, but you don't
want to become a good friend to your subordinates. Kind of like not
dating your employees..... you can't put them on your level."
Can you say more about what you mean by "you can't put them on your level?"
When I was a manager I tried to treat the people who worked for me not as
"subordinates," but as equals who had a different role in the organization
than I had. I was fortunate to become good friends with a few of them.
Dale
--Dale Emery <72704.1550@CompuServe.COM>
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>