Ben stimulated my thinking with his excellent post on perception in
So, I thought to add a bit of data to the discussion and to also reflect
on the idea that perceiving our own actions is difficult and why we react
so negatively to information presented with positive intentions (or what
my Mother always called, "Constructive Criticism."
Ben had said,
>Paying attention to our actions is not as easy as it sounds. . .at least
>in my experience. We instinctively respond to so many situations, that it
>is difficult to identify our reasoning (if there indeed was any reasoning
>behind our behavior) as we act.
And while I may not totally agree with "instinctively" since I think most
is a learned behavior, (maybe Ben meant "react reflexively.") it is
difficult to identify our reasoning.
But it's not a lack of ability of our nervous system to perceive the
information; it is incredibly sensitive:
If your physical senses are working normally, you can:
* Feel on your fingertips a pressure that depresses your skin .00004
* See a candle from 28 miles away.
* Smell one drop of perfume disffused through a three room apartment
* Taste .04 ounce of tabe salt dissolved in 530 quarts of water
* Feel the weight of a bee's wing falling on your cheek from less than
than half an inch away
* Distinguish among more than 300.000 different colors
* Gauge the direction of a sound's origiin based on a .00003-second
difference in its arival from one ear to another
(stuff from Reader's Digest, my most common source of scientific
information these days, BTW).
Ben also said, in part:
>Something that may seem obvious, but I see too many people get too testy
>over valuable feedback provided by people close to them...IMO this inhibits
>a person from experiencing the type of personal growth that makes life such
>a wonderful adventure!
My belief is it is much more linked to trust issues (and conditioning in
the schools and home). If we've developed respect and trust of another,
it seems that their input is much more accepted. AND a lot less
We are more likely to accept such input in a situation of rapport rather
than competitveness and when our own values are understood and aligned
with the feedback.
Oftentimes, the Feeder can package the Feedback in a much more acceptable
form to the Feedee. This is another way of building rapport and improving
For the Fun of It!
Scott Simmerman Performance Management Company, 3 Old Oak Drive, Taylors SC USA 29687-6624 firstname.lastname@example.org
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