Rol yet again brings deep insight to this list. One thing he said in this
thread really caught my attention:
> There is also a complementarity between expressed values and values in
> action. We think we believe in what we express as our values. How we act
> may be different than that. We need to pay attention to our actions to
> see us as others see us.
Paying attention to our actions is not as easy as it sounds. . .at least
in my experience. We instinctively respond to so many situations, that it
is difficult to identify our reasoning (if there indeed was any reasoning
behind our behavior) as we act. The Ladder of Inference seems an
appropriate tool to help increase our awareness about our own behavior,
but IMO our relationships are the primary method (if that is a proper word
given the closeness of a relationship) we receive feedback about our own
behavior.
The eye cannot see itself, nor can it see inside the body. Hence we need
some external source of information about how we are behaving and
interacting with our environment. I believe we need external validation
that we are behaving the way we think we are behaving. . .and that our
values are being expressed the way we think (or at least hope) they should
be expressed. Thus, we should value the feedback we receive from our
relationships -- especially those relationships that touch the center of
our lives such as a spouse, sibling, or very close personal friend. And we
should be willing to provide that feedback as well.
Something that may seem obvious, but I see too many people get too testy
over valuable feedback provided by people close to them. (I must admit,
even I, on occasion, respond less than apropos to the feedback of my wife
or other close friends.) IMO this inhibits a person from experiencing the
type of personal growth that makes life such a wonderful adventure!
--Benjamin B. Compton ("Ben") | email: bcompton@novell.com Novell GroupWare Technical Engineer | fax: (801) 222-6991
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>