I think Carol's hit upon the very essence of what's wrong with the
'GOLDEN RULE' philosophy. It echoes alot of what John Bradshaw talks
> My concerns are these: I meet a lot of bullies (big and little
> ones). Most who beat up on others(figuratively and literally, in the
> workplace and outside) as they were beaten up upon, feel they are
> helping others and showing that they care.
I think this is valid. As they were growing up, what other role models
did they have. A 3 year old child who is shown by the actions of his
parents that beating people up is the only caring given to them,
learns that this behaviour is normal.
> They think being beaten up upon made them what they are today and
> they like their reflection in the mirror.
I'm not sure they actually like their reflection, but they can
self-justify their own actions in this manner. For people who act
negatively to other peoplethey are actually placing a negative value
on their own self-worth. As Jeff Olson says:
We cannot prosper personally or grow spiritually without helping
others do the same.
When an individual is at a certain 'spiritual?' place in their life,
when they reach a level of understanding and knowledge, when they are
not being governed by the deeds (or lack thereof) of their own parents
and really start living a higher level...then the golden rule can be
If a person is caught in a cycle of violence, and has not yet
progressed past, then the so-called 'platinum rule' is more valuable
rule to follow. It makes them aware of how others want to be treated.
That it is different than how he has been treated and expects to be
treated. It can help lead out of the cycle.
Helping people help themselves
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