XMAS GREETING FOR A NEW SOUTH AFRICA LO4592
Ketan Lakhani (ketan@change.org.za)
Thu, 4 Jan 96 13:26 EET
>The holiday season is officially started with my first receipt of a new,
>modified "Twas the Night Before Christmas"! Enjoy, everyone.
>
>'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
>How to live in a world that's politically correct?
>His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
>"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
>And labor conditions at the north pole
>Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
>
>Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
>Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
>And equal employment had made it quite clear
>That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
>So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
>Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
>
>The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
>The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
>And people had started to call for the cops
>When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
>Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
>His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
>
>And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
>Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
>And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
>Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
>
>So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
>Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
>Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
>Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
>
>And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
>That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
>Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
>Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
>Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
>Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
>Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
>Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
>Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
>Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
>
>No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
>Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
>And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
>Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
>For they raised the hackles of those psychological
>Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
>
>No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
>Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
>Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
>And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
>
>So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
>He just could not figure out what to do next.
>He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
>But you've got to be careful with that word today.
>His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
>Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
>
>Something special was needed, a gift that he might
>Give to all without angering the left or the right.
>A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
>Each group of people, every religion;
>Every ethnicity, every hue,
>Everyone, everywhere...even you.
>So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
>"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
KETAN LAKHANI
Centre for Managed Change
--
e-mail: ketan@change.org.za
Voice: +27 31 3011229 Fax: +27 31 305 1833
Snail mail:
P O Box 5520 DURBAN 4000 SOUTH AFRICA
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