Re: Sharing the Learning LO3306

BARB MURPHY (B_MURPHY@ESB.swfpac.lmsc.lockheed.com)
Thu, 19 Oct 1995 15:56:51 PST

Replying to LO3255 --

I agree with Thomas Bertels that our aversion towards sharing information
is learned.

I have only one child to observe--my almost 6 year old daughter but she
teaches me a lot of things. She has not learned yet that by sharing
information with me that she is GIVING me power over her. When she
reveals something to me that she has done I fight my inclination to say "I
don't want to hear that you did that anymore." I fear that she will just
stop telling me about it. I don't punish her or treat her statements as
unwelcome because they are things about her that I want to know and want
to talk to her about--opportunities for her to learn my standards and
morals.

I believe that in business, when a manager says: "I don't want to hear
that . . ." Guess what? He/she won't hear it anymore. We "willing
workers" learn that lesson very quickly.

Another lesson learned from observing my daughter try to play competitive
games. She just can't lose--will cheat, change the rules, quit, anything
to not lose. These games usually end in a fight. BUT, if I set the game
up in cooperative way--where we help each other get points she will play
very happily. My child development book says this is normal for her age.
I wonder does she need to learn how to be competitive at the risk of
losing this joy in cooperation?

--
"BARB MURPHY" <B_MURPHY@ESB.swfpac.lmsc.lockheed.com>