It's probably flogging a dead horse ... but, "making someone promise"
is a contradiction in terms. Not only in my operational definition
but in any operational definition that I've found anyone willing to
give. And yet we still find the phrase used as though it means
something.
One way of breaking through this is to *name* it - callit what it is.
That is, "I am going to tell you what I'm going to hold you to
account for." If the truth be fully told, what I'm going to punish
you for if you don't do.
The interesting thing about this *truth telling* is that, first, it's
actually fairly easy to accept and relate to without undue emotional
strain when said this way. Second, it begins to transform the
condition because it is so obviously disfunctional when named.
-- Michael McMaster Michael@kbddean.demon.co.uk