Hi, Margie.
In LO1716, you wrote (in part):
> Here is what I see happen most often:
> * someone holding a monologue...talking frequently...dominating the
> discussion
> * people timing their comments to within microseconds of the last
> person's speech, so that they can get into the conversation...
> as a result there is little silent time for reflection
> * people having a difficult time moving out of advocacy into reflection
I do a few things, learned from Native American "Talking Stick" ritual
processes, that seem to help in groups I've dealt with.
1. Pass a token (in sufficiently large groups a microphone for
amplification, as many speakers-from-the-heart speak too softly
for others to hear). After speaking, the token is returned to
the center of the space, or passed to someone who asks for it.
You'll get much more "reflection" if speakers return the mic
(or other token) to the center. The act of return, then
another rising and walking/reaching for it puts a natural
"separation" space, and encourages delay.
(Downside: Can cause some people to speak even less often,
as they don't want to "expose" themselves by moving in to
acquire the token. Use with care.)
2. Create an intentionally "ritual" space. The key to ritual (or
"sacred") space is to change the sensory stimuli: Use a room
not otherwise used for the purpose, an unusual space; change
lighting; have people sit on floor, on tables (but not on
chairs). Getting people into different physiology is a useful
way to get people to behave in different ways. It also tends
to communicate, "We're doing things differently here!"
(Downside: Those with "advanced hardening of the categories"
will gripe and complain about arrangements. Let 'em. I'm
less concerned with meeting their needs for conformity than
I am in changing their behaviors and achieving the desired
communicative state.)
3. It is inappropriate for one speaker to interrupt another,
even to ask them to comply with the agreed-upon rules...but
some playful feedback is vital. I've used balls (those funny
springy kind that look like they're made up of cut-up rubber
bands) in the following way: If you believe someone is not
speaking from within the "rules of engagement" you can throw
your ball at them (gently!). Generally, when someone throws
a ball at a gross violator still stuck in advocacy, it starts
a hail of balls that reduces everyone to laughter and play-
fulness.
The major advantage is there is no "rule keeper." We are ALL
keepers of the flame...and there is responsibility and account-
ability for having thrown which cannot be denied.
(Downside: The pompous will be offended...so "silent feedback"
must be presented and supported as a playful activity, not
an implied criticism. I've never had anyone actually *leave*
the room after an "attack," but it could happen. Again, Your
Mileage May Vary (YMMV), so use with care.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Carol Anne Ogdin "Great minds discuss ideas,
Deep Woods Technology average minds discuss events,
CAOgdin@deepwoods.com small minds discuss people."
--Adm. Hyman G. Rickover