The value of the conversation, for me, regarding sympathy and
compassion - and now empathy - is not in the "correctness" of
anybodies definition. The value is in creating distinctions that
allow me to become more powerful in my own actions and, separately,
in may ability to engage others in dialogue that produces more
refinded and effective action.
This, I think, is the primary job of executives and managers (and of
change agents). Meaning is provided by creating distinctions. More
accurately, a context for understanding, communication and action is
created by distinctions. It is trivial that I know what you mean
compared to the possibilities of having new openings for action based
on deeper refinements in ways of thinking, speaking and acting which
your speaking creates.
For example, a few years ago I was quite sick. The doctor ordered a
prolonged period of rest. Taking the advice was little problem when
I felt and looked less than well. But as I began to recover, I felt
and looked better. People began to ask me to do things and I began
to want to do things and I couldn't justify to myself or them why I
wasn't going to do them. I had only the distinctions "sick" or
"well". While looked and felt "well", I couldn't do many things
accordining to my doctor's instructions - but I wasn't "sick". Then
someone introduced me to a new distinction. They offered me word
around which I could construct sentences and take actions. That word
was "recovering". (I share this both to make the point about
distinctions and to contribute to those of you who are or know people
who are having trouble recovering.)
For me and from the dialogue to date, sympathy is something I feel
for others spontaneously, empathy is something that I can create for
them even when I don't happen to feel sympathy (and its less
involved) and compassion is a relationship to both of those -
actually to others - that I can call on, work on as a practice, and
trust for "good dealing" with others.
Thanks for providing some new openings for action for me.
Michael McMaster
Michael@kbddean.demon.co.uk