Re: Resistance to change LO725

Tobin Quereau (quereau@austin.cc.tx.us)
Mon, 10 Apr 1995 14:32:27 -0500 (CDT)

Replying to LO678 --

I'm catching up on a long list of messages, but this ongoing theme of
"manipulation" is too intriguing to pass up. I remember this sort of
discussion from my counselor training days when we were concerned about
how much and in what ways we impact those with whom we are counseling. At
one point I remember looking up the term "manipulation" and finding that
its first meaning was, indeed, "to handle deftly". That helped me to shift
my idea of what this conversation might really be about.

I could associate handling something deftly with being able to engage with
"it" (remember, this is a physical metaphor), pick it up, turn it over and
around, see it from multiple perspectives, and with exquisite care and the
least damage possible, explore new possibilities for and with it and then
place it where it belongs. I can imagine the skills of an artist, a
craftsperson, a pilot, or a machinist as examples of "handling deftly".

These ways of looking at the term helped to reduce my reluctance to
acknowledge the very real impact and influence that I was employing in my
attempt to be of assistance. To assume I would be completely "neutral" in
my interaction--a kind of Carl Rogers superstar--was to deny my
responsibility and the potential harm (as well as benefit) that could
occur as a result of the interaction.

At the same time (shifting to the counseling context), I could make every
effort to avoid attempts to engage in ways that put _my_ needs, values,
and goals above those of my client. Even if the client asks me to help
them accomplish some change that they cannot accomplish on their own, my
goal is to become unnecessary for such accomplishments at some time in the
future. At that point the client can handle their own life challenges
"deftly" enough for their own satisfaction.

I think the key reaction against "manipulation" is that it implies,
unfortunately, a hidden agenda and a power play on the part of one person
over and against another. That kind of interaction is well worth
"resisting" (to use another interesting word we have been discussing...).
Without going on too long, I would say that "manipulation" has the full
range of meanings and applications that "power" does, and requires similar
respect and reflection in its use if the outcomes are to be what we
intend.

P.S. Now as to the matter of a client's "manipulation" of the counselor,
we will need another posting....

Tobin Quereau
Austin Community College
quereau@austin.cc.tx.us