Re: Resistance to change LO595 (Was: Reinforcing...)

david swenson (dswenson@css1.css.edu)
Wed, 29 Mar 95 11:03:04 CST

Replying to LO595 --

I agree with some of the previous contributors that "resistance" is not a
behavior by an individual (or other client system) but a description of the
quality of the relationship. I like the metaphor of judo, aikido, or t'ai
chi for conceptualizing and dealing with "resistance." In t'ai chi, two
partners play "pushhands" as a means of developing sensitivity to each
other's center of balance. By gently moving with (mirroring actually) the
partners arm movements, you and the partner can discover where the "holes"
in the "defense" are without anyone being hurt. Since no position is
entirely complete, finding the openings clearly communicates where the
adjustments and revisions need to be made.

Even in more active encounters (e.g., attacks) the "attack" is construed as
a gift or opportunity given to the receiver of the attack. One can move in
such a way that the "resistance" is taken beyond the support base of the
attacker, who is thereby thrown or led off balance by his/her own attack.
The attitude is not one of aggression or hostility, even in real self
defense, but one of curiosity and caring.

Carrying this metaphor into other interactions, it might mean drawing out a
person's verbal attack or rationale, and overextending it, until the
logical extreme and obvious limitations are reached. It might involve
inviting the other person to "correct" your position as you gently explore,
"what if's." It also means (using a t'ai chi adage) "invest in losing"
whereby you may yield your own ideas to the logic (or emotional impact) of
the other--its always a risk. When you can speak about the other's position
as clearly as he/she, you also have more legitimacy for varying it.

Hope I haven't gone too far out with this metaphor--I haven't had my
morning coffee yet...or taken any falls on the mat this morning.

Dave
David X. Swenson Ph.D. (dswenson@css1.css.edu)
Associate Professor of Management
College of St. Scholastica
Duluth, MN 55811
(218)723-6476