of doritos and chocolate chip cookies

June 30, 2004


At the beginning of the shift I had maybe 45 minutes of peacefully watching two herring gulls allopreening and doing begging behavior, that is pecking at the red spot on the bill. Since they were both in adult plumage, I figured they must be a pair. Nancy sometimes calls me Niko Tinbergen because I get so into watching gull behavior. I did read The Herring Gull's World more than once and in fact own two copies of it (only because my vintage 1950's copy started falling apart and I found a better hardcover copy in a used bookstore) and this does sometimes turn into the diary of gulls and radios. Anyway, the first 45 minutes of the shift was the only quiet time of the whole shift. After that it was nonstop people all of whom want to be on the closed area of the beach right this minute and don't want to hear anything I have to say about piping plovers. People and gulls are very much alike. Both are creatures of appetite. Either I'm anthropomorphizing the gulls or larimorphizing the people, but there are definite similarities. OK, so I made up the word larimorphizing but there are Inuit folk tales in which people change into gulls so I didn't make up the concept :-)

A little redhaired girl keeps running into the closed area of beach and looks like she's going to keep on barreling northward until she's out of sight of the rest of her little family group. I speak to her and to the mother, who assures me she's keeping an eye on the kid. The woman takes the whole group on a walk in the other direction, leaving their picnic lunch and towels behind. A little boy who has been playing quietly in the sand with his plastic trucks and plastic boats takes off chasing after the redhaired girl. I notice that his mother doesn't notice, so dash over and inform her. She catches him before he gets out of sight. Apparently he has an older girl cousin with red hair who is his favorite playmate.

While the redhaired girl's group is away, a herring gull walks over and grabs their unopened bag of Doritos. It tries to open it by dropping it, like it would a quahog. That doesn't work of course. How on earth does the herring gull know there's anything edible in the bag anyway? It keeps at it, tearing at it with its bill, dropping it, and dragging it with no luck. It walks northward into the closed area of beach, dragging the bag of Doritos.

People keep coming over and asking me when the beach will be open. I give the usual piping plover info. One woman tells me she saw lots of piping plovers on the Vineyard and they defend their nests by attacking people and pooping on them. I tell her that sounds like least terns to me. Piping plovers freeze so they disappear into the sand. They don't mob people with pecking and pooping. I have to admit that the least tern's strategy works much better against humans than the piping plover's does. Another woman tells me piping plovers down Kennebunkport nest in the rocks with people all around. I don't have a response for that one. Rocks? The pale sandy beings wouldn't exactly blend in with rocks and they aren't too fond of lots of mammalian activity, but maybe the ones down Maine are different.

While I've been talking to the steady stream of people, the redhaired girl has returned and is chasing the herring gull in the closed area. I call after her to get out of there and leave the birds alone. The mother finally gets it that I really mean it and herds the kid down to the water where plastic truck boy is still playing. While they're off extricating plastic trucks and boats from the rocks and I'm answering questions about greenheads, the herring gull comes back and grabs a small unopened bag of chocolate chip cookies. It succeeds in tearing it open and extracting a cookie. The gull takes the cookie to the water's edge and drags it back and forth in the water to soak it before eating it. It methodically removes another cookie from the bag and does the same thing. Another gull distracts it from its catch and it takes off. I fetch the bag with the remaining cookies and put it back by the Doritos. Later on, somebody asks me if it's OK to feed the gulls. I calmly say "No" and refrain from asking "What? Are you crazy?"

All the while that I 'm chasing kids and their food, drama is unfolding on the radio. Units 13 and 14 are calling for help on the beach for an injured person. Many messages go back and forth between them and the gatehouse and headquarters. It turns out an intern fell off an ATV and has a shoulder injury. Ouch. I reflexively grab my left shoulder and wonder if I should recommend my surgeon... but there are more kids and gulls to chase and more impatient people who want to know why it takes so long for these endangered birds to nest. Seriously, several people wanted to know why the birds couldn't reproduce faster so the people could use the beach. None of the people actually listened to what I had to say except for the "beach closed" part. And a few of the kids, including but not limited to the redhaired girl, didn't listen to that "beach closed" part either. I kept asklng the same kids to leave the closed area multiple times.

At some point during all this constant excitement, Deb came by on the ATV doing her survey of the beach, particularly the stretch from lot 6 down to the southern boundary to make sure the piping plovers really aren't using that stretch of beach for nesting so the refuge can open lots 6 and 7 and the accompanying stretch of beach tomorrow (beginning of July) to the public to relieve some of the pressure. I told her about the two piping plovers I've seen use this area of beach, most recently about a week and a half ago, and how they fly in from the south, eat, and fly back south. That agreed with what other people had observed, so it looks like they're not nesting in this particular spot hence this part of the beach will be open tomorrow. Maybe this will make the people less impatient.

Deb says there are 6 fledglings, 3 chicks, and 3 nests yet to hatch plus one nest on Sandy Point. Not bad.

Back at the gatehouse, one of the gate attendants thanks me for being willing to do the south boundary because the crowds are so big and impatient. I tell her "Yes, and they don't listen." I ask about the intern who fell off the ATV, who is reputed to have a dislocated shoulder. They say the ambulance took her to the hospital. I tell them if she needs surgery I can recommend the guy who put my shoulder back together. They note that in the log book.

I'm wicked thirsty by this time so after I turn in the report and the radio at the gatehouse I stop at Mr. Moe's to get a huge bottle of Poland Spring water. He asks if I was out keeping an eye on those piping plovers. "Yes, and keeping the plovers and the people apart!" I answer. He asks if the greenheads are out yet. There are a few but they didn't bother me today. There really aren't many yet. He's impressed that I am wearing light colored clothes. I know dark colors attract them and they can bite through denim so I' ve switched to stone colored chinos and long sleeved white shirts for the greenhead season. Mr. Moe says he's been telling people about the greenheads but people don't listen. "People don't listen," I agree, "about greenheads or plovers either."

Yup, gulls and people are quite similar. They like Doritos and chocolate chip cookies, they think they own the beach, and they don't listen.

Today's Bird Sightings
Plum Island

killdeer 1
least tern 2
ringbilled gull 6
herring gull 11
Bonaparte's gull 11
great black back gull 4
double crested cormorant 38
American goldfinch 1
semipalated plover 1

Mammal Sightings
Refuge biological staff 1
Visitors 26

Coast Guard Assets 0

Today's Reading
Walden Pond by W. Barksdale Maynard

This Year's Reading
2004 Booklist

Today's Starting Pitcher
Tim Wakefield


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Copyright © 2004, Janet I. Egan