A poem I read says it for me:
Many things we need can wait, the child cannot.
Now is the time his bones are being formed,
His blood being made, his mind being developed.
To him we cannot say tomorrow, his name is today.
"Today" is the reason I choose to stay in the closet concerning my bisexuality--my child. I think it is important that my child should be raised by both a mother and a daddy. I certainly want to be there every day, to give him all that I have to give. Coming out could jeopardize the opportunity to be there every "today."
I am keeping most of the commitments I made to my wife, perhaps not all, but important ones, none the less. Why would I want to increase my freedom if that meant hurting my child? Since I love my wife and we have a commitment to raise our child togethe r, it is better in my opinion to stay in the closet. My freedom seems to be a selfish desire when it is balanced with the needs of my family.
Each of us has to figure out our win/win situation and staying in the closet, while being a caring and loving father and husband, is it for me.
Good luck to all of us.
Jeff
Jeff,
I too have decided to remain in the closet because of my two children. I love them very much and will do nothing about my desires that would jeopardize my family. I have powerful desires for men but will not openly validate those feelings to anyone bec ause I feel I would hurt my family (wife and children) too much.
Bob
Bob and Jeff,
I agree. I came from a broken home that was the result of a very nasty divorce, and I still distrust women because of it. I remember all the nasty things my mom did to my dad, and how she used me and my siblings as weapons to hurt him.
Now that I'm a father, I look at my sons and think, "There is no way I'm going to let them go through that. There is no way I'm going to let them be in a position where I can't be there if they need me." I know that stifling my feelings has a cost to m e, and I have sometimes been depressed enough to think of suicide. But I'm stopped by the thought of my kids having to go through life without a father to stand by them.
All that may be too personal. But I'll say for all of us, "More power to daddy's everywhere!"
Dan
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