Trivia XIII & Humor

The Quizmeister was disappointed that nobody answered last month's question regarding the identity of the deceased individuals memorialized in the three tombstones that can be found in the church portico. Faithful readers will remember the offer of a special prize; unfortunately, due to the lack of responses, the fully loaded SUV will now have to returned to the Range Rover dealership. There is good news, however! For, while the prize of a lifetime is no longer available, the answer to the question is here for the the reading. The deceased were: John Alden, Sr., d. March 1701/2, age 75; Josh Scottow, d. June 20, 1697/8, age 83 years; and Ann Quinsey, d. Sept. 3, 1676, age 13. A reminder that while all flesh is mortal, the Church universal is forever.

Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered, "The two days of the week that begin with `T' are `Today' and `Tomorrow.' There are twelve seconds in a year. And God has two first names; they are `Andy' and `Howard.' "

Saint Peter said, "Okay, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow. Even though it's not the answer I expected, your answer is correct. But how did you get twelve seconds in a year, and why did you ever think that God's first name is either Andy or Howard?"

"Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc."

"OK, I'll give you that one, too," said Saint Peter, "but what about the God's first name stuff?"

Forrest said, "Well, from the song, `Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own...' and the prayer, `Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name...' "

Saint Peter let him in without further ado. +