TALKING INTO IMAGINARY PHONE

I say, Bob, this is Dave. I got a couple a quick questions for you about the new org chart...

He says, "You know who you should be talkin' to? I'm gonna let you talk to someone in Strategic Marketing, they can give you the scoop on some of these changes."

PAUSES, LOOKING INTO IMAGINARY PHONE

A little later, maybe six hours, someone comes on the line. Doris, who I don't know from Adam. But I don't get upset, I say, "Doris, about this new org chart..." and she says "Oh, yeah, you want to talk to someone in Field Marketing." And puts me on hold.

HOLDS UP FIVE FINGERS, TICKS OFF NAMES ON FINGERS

I talked to field marketing. They had me call corporate marketing, who had me call major accounts marketing, who put me in touch with product marketing, who got me to call product ops marketing...

FLEXES FIST, CLOSES EYES, SLOWLY AND WITH GREAT EFFORT RELAXES

I mean: GUYS! That's a lotta marketing, okay? I hang up the phone...look through the memos I've gotten over the past month, tryin to get a clue: THIS THICK, the thing was, and I don't got time for that.

GETTING MADDER AND MADDER

Come on, Denny: who's in charge here? You gotta different program every month...new rules, a new comp plan ...and on top of that it's like I gotta call triple A every time I gotta find my way through some new org chart.

You want us to be team players, fine. That's the way the game's played nowadays. But don't you think it'd be a good idea if I at least maybe knew who was on my team?

CALMS DOWN AGAIN

All right, now that's all I'm gonna say, I don't wanna get my blood pressure all bent out of shape over this.

PICKS UP PHONE

But from now on, let's leave the alphabet soup back home on the stove, all right? And don't make me talk to seventeen different kinds of marketing guys every time one of my guys asks me a question. I got enough problems dealing with the people in my own region.

TO PHONE

All right, I'm ready, put her through. No, it can't wait, it's gotta be done today, her pension kicks in at the end of the week. I gotta fire her now, get her out of here before it costs me.

WAITS A FEW SECONDS, THEN TO PHONE:

Yo, Mom...I got some bad news for you...

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