Chapter 5. The Feedback Phenomenology (FP) Methodology for revealing the reality underlying deep or traumatic experiences:
Arlen Wolpert
(Draft of April 22,2008)
(This very important chapter is presently undergoing radical reconstruction. Please be patient. It requires me to think at a very subtle level.
The original state of the chapter was given in my 2002 Palermo publication, entitled Transcendental Feedback Phenomenology.)
Introduction
Here is a brief Introduction to the three steps of the analytical process I call Feedback Phenomenology (FP). I will be explaining how I applied these three steps in Chapter 7 to perform a Feedback Phenomenological (FP) analysis of core consciousness during my religious experience of purgation which just preceded the experience of mystical union. I call the combined experience of purgation culminating in mystical union, PMU. After this short introductory phase of Chapter 6, I will be adding much more descriptive detail into each of the three steps.
Step I: Causal Loop Feedback Phenomenology (CLFP):
In the first step of the FP analytical process I begin by recalling the data of
core consciousness
during my 1962 experience of PMU.
This data of core consciousness was recalled from long term memory (LTM), using the causal loop diagraming technique
[see
(Richardson 1981 or Sterman 2000)].
The causal loop diagram technique is a simple exploratory technique, often used during the preliminary stage of any kind of system dynamics (SD) analysis. However, when this preliminary SD technique is used for exploring core consciousness during a deep experience like trauma or a religious experience, it fits into the category of a simple phenomenological methodology. I will be calling this simple phenomenological methodology, Causal Loop Feedback Phenomenology (CLFP). The application of the CLFP methodology to analyze purgation enabled me to unearth or recall from long term memory various dynamic aspects - or noemata - of core consciousness during purgation and then organize them into a simple preliminary feedback structured system. My use of CLFP began to reveal - in rough form - the structure of core consciousness during purgation. It also revealed some of the main concepts Husserl referred to in his transcendental phenomenological methodology, such as the noema, the noemata, noesis, directedness of consciousness, intentionality, intentional inexistence, and the natural attitude
(see Follesdal 1998).
After a few years with the CLFP analysis I was able to probe fairly deeply into the contents of my long term memory where the 1962 experience of PMU resided. While I was making the CLFP analysis, I was opening up the memory of PMU that had laid dormant within me during the 22 years between 1962 and 1984. As a result, during this CLFP analytical phase my soul was on Fire. This was because my remembrance of PMU was opening up again, releasing pent up energy associated with those deep memories. During this firey period I wrote
An Engineer's Story, given in Chapter 1.
Step II: Mathematical Feedback Phenomenology (MFP):
Once the CLFP analysis of purgation was exhausted or was milked dry of preliminary insights, I was ready to begin the more scientific, second step in the analytical process. This step is a scientifically-based phenomenological analysis: A formalized, SD-based, mathematical kind of phenomenological analysis of consciousness. I eventually called that phenomenological analysis, Mathematical Feedback Phenomenology (MFP). Now, it is important to state here a fact psychologists are very familiar with: The dynamic data of core consciousness during deep experiences, like trauma or religious experiences, are very precisely and permanently retained in long term memory (LTM). Using this fact, which I had unearthed during my experience with the CLFP step, the objective of my MFP analysis focused on constructing a
formalized SD model
(see
Forrester 1961, Richardson 1981)
that uses simulation to precisely describe my memory of the dynamics of my core consciousness data in my LTM during purgation. This key task was performed by mathematically modeling and then simulating - in an iterative way - a relatively simple set of aspects or variables of
core consciousness during purgation, moment by moment, over each variable's or aspect's 10 hour duration
This iterative process was performed until the actual dynamics of each aspect or noemata of my core consciousness during purgation had been precisely described (using moment by moment simulations) and purgation's two sector structure or flow diagram or noema had been carefully determined. There are, presently, 38 variables or noemata in that SD model of purgation, 23 of which are aspects of my core consciousness during purgation. This MFP analysis of purgation is given in Chapter 7.
I was completely absorbed with the above two steps of this analytical process. However, the analysis took a great deal of time to complete: The CLFP period took about two years, from December 1984 to some time in 1986 or 1987; the MFP period or step took about 8 years from 1986 or 1987 to December 1994. Metaphorically, the CLFP analysis could be thought of as like a model T Ford; the MFP analysis could be thought of as like taking the old model T Ford and rebuilding it into a more precise modern Mercedes-type machine with vastly greater capabilities. Much was learned about purgation during the initial CLFP period or step, but the MFP step was a much more serious, rigorous, and subtle analytical process.
The relatively simple 38 variable, two sector, MFP model of purgation
could have been refined and expanded more and more as my insights grew deeper and clearer. Also, the number of variables or noemata I am using could have been increased as the variables or noemata of the MFP analysis become more comprehensive and more refined. There is no limit to either the number of sectors of this MFP model or to the potential depth and fineness of detail of the analysis. However, one must be willing to give the time required for such an expanded and refined analysis. In 2005 I was 73. Time was running out. I had to move on to other, more pressing, tasks.
MFP is unique. It is
a formalized, mathematically-based, SD analysis of the dynamics of core consciousness data during a deep experience.
Such an analysis has never been done before. Its application to purgation is the first use of the MFP methodology. The MFP analysis of purgation reveals that the SD-based MFP methodology is the rigorous science of philosophy (RSP) toward which key phenomenological philosophers - like Brentano and Husserl - had quested, but had never attained. Note carefully: The CLFP and MFP analyses are SD-based analyses. SD is the underlying analytical tool of the first and second steps of the comprehensive overall analytical methodology I am calling Feedback Phenomenological (FP).
It is important, now, to look at the
SD methodology
from a broad perspective for a moment. SD can be used to model and simulate the dynamics of any kind of system that is changing or moving. In this book I am focusing my SD analysis on the dynamics of my own core consciousness system during the 10 hour experience of purgation. However, the 4 to 7 second state of mystical union is a timeless state: There is no change in core consciousness during mystical union. SD cannot be used to model and simulate a core consciousness that does not change. That is, SD cannot model and simulate a changeless, and hence a timeless, state like mystical union. Nevertheless, I believe the state of mystical union will eventually be scientifically analyzed, starting with the first law of thermodynamics
(see this link for a discussion of a scientific approach for analyzing mystical union).
As for the history of SD, it was conceived and developed by Jay W. Forrester
(Forrester 1961).
The analytical power, brilliance, and simplicity of the SD method is only one of the great achievements of Forrester's legendary career at MIT. His career began when he arrived at MIT, fresh out of the University of Nebraska with a BSEE in 1939 or 1940, to work at the, now historically famous, Servo Lab during the desperate years just before and during World War II. Forrester's great career has continued right up to the present day. I believe his SD methodology satisfies the requirements for being
the logos,
an all encompassing methodology for analyzing any kind of system that is changing or moving. The concept of the logos was first introduced by the ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus.
Step III: Transcendental Grounding step of Feedback Phenomenology (TGFP):
The completion of CLFP and MFP analyses are where my SD-based phenomenological analysis of purgation stood during the period between 1994 and 2005. During that period I was struggling with preliminary studies of the transcendental phase of the analysis: Step III.
Now, the third step of the FP analysis of PMU will be introduced. The task of the third step is to materially ground or transcendentally ground the precisely described and simulated second step or MFP step of the FP methodology. During that very important third step of the FP analysis of purgation, the analyst took the MFP results from Step II and materially grounded or transcendentally grounded it in the releasing of cramped or paralyzed heart muscles. That is, the third step of the FP analysis is in the form of a diagnosis: It takes the first two steps (CLFP and MFP), the formalized dynamic description of consciousness during purgation in the natural attitude, and then finds its driving force. That diagnosis of purgation is an example of the Transcendental Grounding step of Feedback Phenomenology (TGFP). That third analytical step is finding out or diagnosing what was actually going on within my body physically or materially or neurophysiologically or behavioristically. It was diagnosing the origin of the force driving my consciousness during purgation.
In the Third Step the analyst transcendentally grounds that deep experience in his or her neurophysiological system. In doing so the FP methodology
uses one of the very unique SD techniques:
It uses the order of the FP model of purgation - determined in Step II. This enables the analyst to find the kind of dynamic or moving part within the experiencer's body that mirrors the dynamics of the experiencer's core consciousness. The analyst then uses this insight, together with the help of a neuroscientist and a cardiovascular expert (in the case of purgation), to determine both the kind of moving part and the moving part's specific location in the experiencer's neurophysiological system. After working alone with the above Step III SD technique for the case of purgation for a year or so, I presently believe the specific location is at a point where cramped antagonistic heart muscles are being released. To see how I am finding this hidden movement or hidden dynamics and its hidden location within my body - driving the dynamics of my core consciousness during purgation - see my detailed thought processing during Step III. It opens up or unlocks everything!
Analysis:
The first part of my analysis was to focus on my long term memory (LTM), because my LTM contains the dynamic details of my consciousness during the 10 hour religious experience. These dynamic details were stored in my LTM in 1962. That is, my long term memory is where the dynamic data of my religious experience is stored. Over the years since 1984 I have found that the data has remained accurate and precisely detailed. Therefore, my memory of the details of consciousness during my 1962 religious experience has not faded and has not been forgotten in any way since the time of that experience. In short, I had the accurate data I needed in order to make a scientific analysis of my religious experience.
Then, I began using Isaac Newton's scientific method. Newton was the first scientist to have used the scientific method. Although I knew of the classical procedure of Newton's scientific method, the kind of data he used for his formalized analysis was very different from the kind of data I am using for my formalized analysis: Newton's data had been collected over many centuries by astronomers, particularly those astronomers studying the motion of the various planets and moons in the solar system. My data had been collected over a 10 hour period by my LTM during April 8-9, 1962 (see Table I above).
Newton studied the collected data from the measurements of astronomers, and then used his calculus to model and simulate the dynamics - or movement - of those planets and celestrial objects. Of critical importance for the scientific method to work was that Newton's mathematical model and his simulations of the dynamics of those stars, planets, and moons needed to match the astronomer's data. Newton's perspective was a third person (it) perspective. Perhaps, the most important result of his formalized, scientific analysis of that complex system was the eventual emergence of his discovery of gravitation.
Now, here is how I am analyzing purgation: In the first stage of the analysis, I am using the scientific method, together with SD, to mathematically model and simulate the dynamics of core consciousness during purgation in such a way as to match the dynamic data of core consciousness in my LTM. The dynamic core consciousness data in my LTM is what SD calls the reference mode
(Richardson 1981, Sterman 2000)
of my 960 minute religious experience. This reference mode has many aspects. For the present model there are 38 variables or aspects. For example, Figures 1 and 3 - which can be seen above at items 6 and 7 of this Introduction - give simulations of the dynamics for certain aspects or variables associated with purgation. Figures 1 and 3 display the dynamics of some of these aspects for both long and short, but important, periods of purgation. At the same time, these simulations display both long and short periods of the reference modes for seven of the 38 aspects or variables associated with purgation. That is because the mathematical model of purgation was refined and refined until all these simulations (and the other simulations not shown) were made to match the reference mode or data in my LTM. To a certain extent, I did this because I was so absorbed with delving again into and matching the most subtle moments during purgation. I was also absorbed with reliving the religious experience, again and again. I was also absorbed with reexperiencing - in a slow and sure way - every nook and cranny of core consciousness during that experience. It is fortunate that I did this laborious task: It produced a fairly accurate flow diagram and it brought to my attention - again - the very subtle
walking of the plank
during purgation. This fairly accurate flow diagram is categorized in SD as a second order negative feedback system
(Forrester 1968b).
I found out later - during the second stage of the analysis of purgation - that in order to understand the reality underlying purgation, the flow diagram and its categorization as a second order negative feedback system needed to be accurate in order to transcendentally ground core consciousness in my neurophysiological system.
That is: If I could transcendentally ground core consciousness during the 10 hour experience of purgation in the second stage of the analysis, I could open up an understanding of where the action was in my neurophysiological system during the experience of purgation. With this information I would be able to precisely know what was driving the dynamics of my core consciousness system during purgation. Key to this transcendental grounding is the SD technique that takes the order of the SD flow diagram and uses it to understanding the reality underlying purgation and mystical union. For example, as was stated above, the flow diagram for core consciousness during purgation was found to be a second order negative feedback system. In addition, I had a pretty good intuition that all muscles operate as a second order negative feedback system. Further, the muscles would be located somewhere in the heart. With these pieces of information, I began to believe - at least tentatively - that my core consciousness during purgation was being driven by the release of cramped antagonistic heart muscles. This reality is probably the hidden secret I have been looking for since 1984. Whether or not my tentative analysis is correct, the revealing of this hidden secret - together with my awareness of the walking of the plank - has been slowly emerging as the centerpiece of the analysis. It is enabling my mind to come into contact with the deepest reality of my religious life. It is integrating my mind and my sacred heart. Although I have not completely revealed - and proved - the reality yet, but I am getting closer and closer:
- First Step:
- Second Step: Using SD to, first, model and simulate core consciousness during purgation and to obtain the flow diagram. Then, the order of the flow diagram is determined.
The data of the dynamics of consciousness during purgation was collected by my LTM. Then, instead of calculus,
the powerful, and relatively simple, Forrester-style system dynamics (SD) methodology
was used to model and simulate my
core consciousness
during purgation (see Chapters 6 and 7). The SD methodology structures core consciousness during purgation as a multiloop nonlinear feedback system. I believe the reason why this fundamental SD structure has been effective in matching the reference mode is because a multiloop nonlinear feedback system has the same structure as the neurophysiological system underlying core consciousness. This SD analysis is leading to both the structure of core consciousness during the 10-hour experience of purgation and to the moment by moment dynamics of core consciousness during purgation. This analysis took me about 15 years, from December 1984 to 1999
(Wolpert 1992, 2001).
Here are some important details underlying my analysis of purgation during those 15 years:
- I bracketed out the
extended consciousness
in my LTM. I did this - at first - because I found that extended consciousness during purgation was too complex and subtle for my mind to model, using SD. Whereas, I found that, by using SD, core consciousness in my LTM was relatively easy to model (see Figures 1, 2, and 3, just above).
I believe the reason for this ease of modeling is that core consciousness originates in the, relatively simple, limbic-brain stem and neurocirculatory system. On the other hand, extended consciousness originates in the much more complex thalamocortical system (Guha 1991). More to the point, as my analysis proceeded I found that I didn't really need to deal with extended consciousness: Core consciousness is the kind of consciousness that is focused on or is aware of or is monitoring the movement or change within one's neurophysiological system during a deep or traumatic experience, such as a deep religious experience or the abreaction or release of a trauma. It soon became clear to me that core consciousness was where I needed to focus my analysis. (See the Thought Processing: Part I section of the SECOND STAGE, below.)
- Another thing was: I knew that I could not model and simulate consciousness during mystical union, because neither core consciousness nor extended consciousness were dynamic during that incredible state. There was no change in consciousness during mystical union! Consciousness was not dynamic during the state of mystical union. As a result, my inner sense of time ceased during the 4 to 7 seconds that seemed to me to have elapsed during that state.
- Because of my two observations or perceptions, just above, a more informed awareness and judgment arose in my mind. As a result, an effective strategy emerged: That strategy was that I should focus the SD analysis of my religious experience only on core consciousness during purgation. (During the 15 year period from 1984 to 1999 that strategy assumed that I could always study mystical union later. That strategy was based on the fact that I would be more prepared for such an analysis when I had collected more insights from my SD analysis of core consciousness during purgation. For a few recent insights or conjectures concerning mystical union, see Phase IV of Chapter 7.)
- TRANSITIONAL STAGE: Recognizing that Husserl's writings in transcendental phenomenology (TP), together with the writings of Kant and the Neokantians, contributed valuable insights for my scientific analysis of purgation.
The eleven year period from 1994 to 2005 was a critical transitional period. I had started the first stage of my analysis in 1984 using only SD (see FIRST STAGE, above). At that time I knew nothing about Husserl's extremely difficult transcendental phenomenological (TP) writings and books; nor did I know anything about Kant's famously difficult Critique of Pure Reason and the writings associated with it; nor did I know anything of the work of the Neokantian's at the Marburg School, like Cohen, Natorp, and Cassirer. In addition, I do not know German. So, I not only had to read this difficult literature, but I had to read it in the English language translations. Therefore, between 1994 and 2005 I had to fumble through these difficult works. Then, during the latter part of that eleven year transitional period I slowly began to realize that my analysis was headed for religious controversy: Fumbling around with the writings of Paul Natorp, which I believe were effectively translated by Alan Kim, I could see that my scientific search for the Truth about purgation would eventually require me to transcendentally ground the religious experience of purgation in my neurophysiological system
[Kim 2003; also see writings of the Neokantian, Paul Natorp (at the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy website); see also a very helpful book in English on Kant (Holzhey and Mudroch 2005)].
Here is a brief summary of those 11 years from 1994 to 2005: I concentrated, first, on developing and using an SD-based, formalized phenomenological methodology, which I am now calling,
Feedback Phenomenology (FP).
I believe FP is a formalized, scientific, SD-based form of Husserl's TP. During those 11 years I began to see that, essentially, an FP analysis of a deep experience has only two stages:
- In the Second Step, as described above, FP uses SD to mathematically model and simulate core consciousness during the deep experience (purgation). This enables the analyst to get a total picture of the feedback structure of the experience (via the SD flow diagram or noema in Figure 2 at item 8, just above); to describe the experience, in the natural attitude, moment by moment, by using simulation (like Figures 1 and 3 in items 6 and 7, above); and to determine the order of the feedback system or model.
- In the Third Step the analyst transcendentally grounds that deep experience in his or her neurophysiological system. In doing so the FP methodology
uses the SD technique:
It uses the order of the feedback system model of purgation - determined in the FIRST STAGE - to find the kind of dynamic or moving part within the experiencer's body that mirrors the dynamics of the experiencer's core consciousness. The analyst then uses this insight, together with the help of a neuroscientist and a cardiovascular expert (in the case of purgation), to determine both the kind of moving part and the moving part's specific location in the experiencer's neurophysiological system. After working alone with the above SD technique for the case of purgation for a year or so, I presently believe the specific location is at a point where cramped antagonistic heart muscles are being released. To see how I am finding this hidden movement or hidden dynamics and its hidden location within my body - driving the dynamics of my core consciousness during purgation - see my detailed thought processing during the SECOND STAGE just below. It opens up or unlocks everything!
- SECOND STAGE: Transcendentally grounding purgation in my neurophysiological system.
This section tells the reader - in more detail - how the SD technique and my thought processing gradually led me to an understanding of the reality underlying purgation. This thought processing went on during the latter part of the eleven year transition, from around 2000 to 2005. During 2006 and 2007 the SD technique and my thought processing are getting finer and finer and closer and closer to locating the grounding of the dynamics of core consciousness during purgation.
- Thought processing: Part I. Early insights during the years between 1962 and 1984:
- It was very clear to me during the years between 1962 and 1984 that my experience of purgation was occurring somewhere in my heart. I felt the experience going on there. I also felt that purgation was related to the release of 'knots in my heart.' At that time, I actually believed that knots had existed in my heart and that they had been untied during purgation.
- Also, keep in mind here that my early April 1962 religious experience of purgation began spontaneously: I slowly began to feel something unusual was going on inside of me. The very beginning of the narrative of the experience of purgation starts at the third paragraph at the beginning of this book. It goes like this:
"I was walking down a hill with a small suitcase in my hand. As I walked reflectively and in peace down that hill in the warm and brilliant Southern
California sun, my heart slowly began to feel full. My mind was drawn inward."
- I felt, and I also said to myself: 'Something divine is happening to me.' I related this beginning of my religious experience to my divine 10 day vacation at the monastery. I had left that monastery only a few minutes earlier.
- Here are my present reflections concerning the above three points: Something deep within me was making its move. One's core consciousness is rarely in use, it seems to me, but when something deep within starts to make its move, the experiencer's core consciousness awakens and begins doing its job of monitoring and interpreting this deep movement. I believe core consciousness is built to monitor such movement and then to inform and protect the experiencer. Core consciousness needed to do this in its very imaginative way. Keep in mind that core consciousness has only one observer or monitor in attendance: It is the experiencer. In order for the experiencer to understand what is going on and not be too frightened, core consciousness - somehow - works very closely with the experiencer's imagination. For example, if the experiencer tends toward religiousity, his or her imagination tends to work in close harmony with the experiencer's core consciousness, reminding it of his or her background of religious teachings, particularly with religion's main teachings and with religion's main scenarios. Therefore, my core consciousness and my imagination became very aware of - or armed with - Sunday school teachings, like the scenarios of
Jonah and the Whale
or the scenarios associated with
sin, forgiveness, and Judgment Day.
These kind of teachings and scenarios were the key ideas that eventually allowed me to experience the blessed purgation and mystical union, rather than eventually being left with nothing but a nervous breakdown.
- Thought processing: Part II. Using the SD technique to help me get started in transcendentally grounding purgation in my neurophysiological system.
- After having made the FIRST STAGE analysis between 1984 and 1999, as discussed above, and after having studied Husserl's TP and other writings on TP for awhile, I knew around 2004 that I had to figure out how to transcendentally ground purgation.
- My SD model of core consciousness during purgation,
shown in Figure 2,
is labeled in SD - particularly the phenomenological sector - as a second order negative feedback system.
Such a system usually oscillates:
The release of the 12 'knots in my heart' occurred in a cyclical or oscillating way. For example, the dynamics of the intensity of variables, like PsychicStress, PrayerQuality, FearDeathDueToKnot, etc., all varied between more than 0 and less than 100.
The intensity of those variables, then, oscillated between 0 and 100 for one cycle every time a knot release process occurred.
- I then started to look for a second order negative feedback system operating within my heart. This search was based on what I now believe to be the fundamental idea of transcendental phenomenology: What is going on in core consciousness mirrors, and is driven by, what is going on in the experiencer's neurophysiological system. The most obvious choice for the driver would be one of the various antagonistic heart muscle systems operating within my heart, because all muscle systems will operate like an oscillating, second order negative feedback system (see the following links to obtain insights from two neurophysiologists,
C.S.Sherrington
and
R.F.Schmidt,
on the neurophysiological basis of this statement).
- Then, I began to understand that the 12 sets of cramped or paralyzed antagonistic heart muscles in my neurophysiological system (these muscles were real) would have been released - one by one - in simultaneity with the release - one by one - of the 12 knots in my heart. These were the knots my core consciousness was keeping track of or monitoring. I began to understand that both my 12 sets of antagonistic heart muscles and my imagination, together with their associated neurophysiological system, were responsible for generating what was going on in my core consciousness: The monitoring of the release of the 12 'knots in my heart.'
- Note: Back in 1962 when I was experiencing purgation, my core consciousness was aware of the release of each of the knots in my heart, even though the knots were not real. The dynamics of these knots were being tracked by my core consciousness. I thought they were real, but they were not: It was in desperation that my imagination, working closely with my core consciousness and my releasing heart muscles, had to conceive or invent these dynamic knots. The desperation was because I had to
walk the plank.
The 'knots in my heart' corresponded with, or they were mirrored with, the dynamics of my heart muscles. Note carefully: In 1962 I did not know my cramped antagonistic heart muscles were being released. (I must tell you that in 1962 - at the age of 30 - I wasn't even aware that muscles existed in my heart.) Events were happening too fast during purgation - particularly during the time when knots were being released - to even think about it.
- Therefore, in 1962 the 12 sets of cramped antagonistic heart muscles were real, of course, but I did not know they existed and were being released when I was experiencing purgation. However, I knew of the 12 knots in my heart. They were quickly conceived or 'invented' by my imagination, based on inner feelings of the dynamics of the muscles - which I did not know existed. 'Inventive imagination' appears to be an important aspect of what Husserl called 'the natural attitude.' Inventive imagination or the natural attitude is an important aspect for the survival of the human being during the release of trauma. Perhaps it is, eventually, important for his culture!
- Thought processing: Part III. Recognizing that purgation was associated with the abreaction or release of a trauma:
- So, around 2004 I began to ask myself: What had caused those 12 sets of cramped antagonistic heart muscles to become cramped or paralyzed?
- Then I remembered that, when I was 9 or 10 years old, I had
a childhood sexual trauma.
- Then, while reading about trauma and abreaction or release of trauma (Laplanche and Pontalis 1973), it occurred to me that in 1962 when I was 30, I probable had
the abreaction or release of that trauma.
- Therefore, the release of my trauma was experienced as purgation and mystical union! [Physically, the release of my trauma was - first - the release, one by one, of the 12 sets of cramped antagonistic heart muscles, together with each knot's cathectic or bound energy. Then, this important release culminated in mystical union, which was physically based on the release of massive amounts of cathectic or bound energy, coming from the very ground of one's being. (see: free energy/bound energy, cathexis, Helmholtz, etc. in
(Laplanche and Pontalis 1973)]
- Thought processing: Part IV. Recognizing that the crucial minutes just before the abreaction or release of each one of my cramped or paralyzed antagonistic heart muscles required me to 'walk the plank.' That is: Recognizing that I had had to 'walk the plank' 12 times during purgation in order to reach the sacred Ground: The unsurpassable Greatness, experienced during mystical union.
- Every time a 'knot in my heart' was getting ready to be released, I experienced great stress, fear, and anxiety. This was particularly true just before the release of the first set of cramped antagonistic heart muscles. As a result, I needed to call on the Divine at that time in order to bear the great stress, fear, and anxiety. I call those crucial release periods, 'walking the plank.' Therefore, by using my imagination, the Divine assisted and supported me in walking the plank and saved me from a nervous breakdown.
- During purgation I was desperate during the release of my trauma. That is why the experience is sometimes called by the Christians 'The Dark Night of the Soul': In this desperate experience of The Dark Night of the Soul, I had to 'walk the plank.'
(Please read the story of Jonah and the Whale.)
- The 12 sets of 'knots in my heart' were conceived by my imagination with great inventive skill. I believe this skill is typical of the human being: The realization of this skill came about because I was so desperate during this crucial period of purgation, when I had to
'walk the plank.'
- The one hour period when I had to walk the plank: During the release of each of the sets of cramped antagonistic heart muscles, I needed to 'know' - right away - some kind of interpretation of what was going on. This would alleviate my anxiety and enable me to continue my ongoing imaginative religious scenario.
If I couldn't continue my imaginative religious scenario during the walking of the plank, the intensity of my anxiety would have been too great and I would have panicked and had a nervous breakdown.
In summary, there was an emergency: I had to
'walk the plank,'
because a spontaneous abreaction or release of my
childhood sexual trauma
was making its move or had begun to occur.
- So, there is considerable basis for conjecturing that the dynamics of the release of my cramped antagonistic heart muscles during purgation are, simultaneously, driving the dynamics of core consciousness during the release of 'knots in my heart.'
- Therefore, there is a one to one relationship between a release of a knot and a release of a set of cramped antagonistic heart muscles. That is why the inventive and imaginative - but unreal - religious scenario of the releasing of knots in my heart during purgation is able to be
modeled
and
simulated.
- The neurophysiological and phenomenological communities call the phenomenon of a release of a 'knot in my heart,' a
somatosensory mental image.
For the case of purgation, such an image is not real: Phenomenologists would label the 'knot in my heart mental image' an example of 'intentional inexistence' (Meinong 1904).
- Thought processing: Part V. Here are some more detailed notes on my thinking process: They tell how I am using the SD technique to diagnose some final problems still being worked on during the transcendental grounding of purgation:
- One must be very careful here when using the SD technique: My conjecture is that the muscles in my heart had become cramped by
a trauma that occurred when I was 9 or 10.
The abreaction or release of the trauma occurred when I was 30. Therefore, my heart muscles had been cramped for 20 or 21 years. (This period was the basis of, or contributed toward, my arrested development, occurring between the ages of 9 or 10 to the age of 30. This will be discussed in Chapter 4 and at item 12 of this Introduction.)
- However, during those 20 or 21 years the cramping or paralyzation had not affected the rate of my blood flow: For example, I was a scrambling, quickly reacting, tennis player during the years from high school through college. I believe the rate of my blood flow was very good. In addition, I had my religious experience in 1962 when I was 30. This was during a vacation just
after I had completed an extremely intense engineering project. Working on this project occurred during the five month period just before I had experienced purgation and mystical union.
- Because of the above two pieces of information, my conjecture is that the muscles that had been cramped or paralyzed must not have been directly associated with the rate of my blood flow! Rather, the cramped antagonistic heart muscles probably had been in a subsidiary or auxilliary muscle system that was part of my entire heart muscle system (see Chapter 7): A cardiovascular expert and a neuroscientist need to work closely with me to determine the precise location of the cramped sets of antagonistic heart muscles that were driving my core consciousness during purgation. The precise location would have to satisfy the above release conditions.
- Therefore, my conjecture is that those subsidiary cramped heart muscles are, spontaneously, being released during the spontaneous abreaction or release of my trauma. Note: There is a lot of conjecture underlying this conclusion. Nevertheless, I believe it is a good start. I believe we are now on the road.
Brief summary of the analysis of core consciousness during a deep experience: First, I am using SD to mathematically model and simulate core consciousness, moment by moment, during a deep experience (purgation) that lasted 10 hours. Then, I am using the SD technique (to determine the order of the feedback system or the flow diagram) to assist me in transcendentally grounding that experience in my neurophysiological system. This application of SD/FP makes a formalized or scientific connection between the dynamics of my core consciousness during the deep experience (purgation) and the dynamics of the operation of a certain region of my body (For the case of purgation: the release of sets of cramped antagonistic heart muscles). Also, the use of a first person (I) perspective is unique: It opens up to science the workings of the inner life. It does this by using a formalized, first person, scientific analysis. The final question is: What is emerging from this analysis? Many things, but here are a few:
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I believe the FP methodology will revolutionize psychiatry. That is, the SD/FP methodology opens the way for developing a formalized, first person, scientific base upon which psychiatry can firmly stand. Psychiatry is in desperate need of such grounding, because the unscientific field of psychiatry is presently very vulnerable to domination by the pharmaceutical industry and by the politically correct forces of the leaders of culture.
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I believe this methodology will also revolutionize the field of Transcendental Phenomenology (TP) by converting it into a science.
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A first person analysis - such as SD/FP - will open up the second half of the Scientific Revolution.
- (To see more results emerging from the methodology, see item 13 of this Introduction.)
Summary:
Here is a summary of the two periods or steps of the Feedback Phenomenological (FP) methodology for analyzing a deep experience like a trauma or a religious experience. This summary describes the FP analytical road from the dynamics of core consciousness "in the natural attitude" to core consciousness' transcendental grounding in the dynamics of material or neurophysiological objects within the experiencer's body.
- Analyzing core consciousness:
- CLFP is an SD-based causal loop diagram methodology for making a preliminary exploration of a deep experience that had been recorded precisely and permanently in long term memory. It recalls from that long term memory the various aspects of the experience, as understood from the view of the natural attitude. It then gives the recalled aspects of the experience a rough feedback loop structure.
- MFP is a mathematically-based, SD-based methodology for analyzing core consciousness during a deep experience until the experience is precisely described. Stated in another way, MFP recalls core consciousness during the experience from long term memory and then precisely models and simulates the various aspects of the experience as a multiloop nonlinear feedback system. The precision of the model and its simulations are a result of an iterative process.
- Transcendental grounding core consciousness in the experiencer's neurophysiological system:
TGFP is the process of taking the precise dynamic description of the experience from the MFP analysis and transcendentally grounding it with the dynamics of its physical correlates. Stated in another way, it takes the MFP model and the precise, simulated MFP description of the various aspects of the deep experience in the natural attitude and determines, or makes a diagnosis of, the dynamics of the physical correlates of that deep experience.
- FP = CLFP + MFP + TGFP
Arlen Wolpert
Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA
http://theworld.com/~awolpert/gtr562.html
(Draft of June 27,2007)