Abstract of My Work at the Developing, Leading Edge of the GTR:

1. Conjectures are tentative insights. The confidence one holds for a conjecture varies. Here is a conjecture that is a followup of the important conjecture in item 9 of the Extended Abstract: The heart muscles that became cramped/paralyzed when I was 9 or 10 had then been slowly put into more and more tension as the rest of my heart grew during the period when my body matured from the age of 9 or 10 to the age of 30. So, this followup conjecture is that at the age of 30, just before purgation, the tension in my cramped heart muscles was like the tension in the string of a bow when the bow is drawn to shoot an arrow. Then, tension in those sets of two cramped antagonistic muscles was released over a 10 hour period, set by set or muscle by muscle in 1962 when I was 30. As the tension in the sets of antagonistic muscles was released, potential energy in the tense or stretched muscles was naturally released. Freud called this potential energy that was released 'cathectic or bound energy' (LaPlanche 1973). After this potential energy was released my conjecture is that part of it was used as kinetic energy to move and release the cramped/paralyzed heart muscles and the rest of it was converted to some sort of freely available energy. I believe this release of the muscles and the corresponding release of their potential energy is central to the experience of purgation and mystical union (PMU) and the freeing of my cramped heart.
2. The conjectures in item 9 of the Extended Abstract and item 1, just above, set up a tentative explanation for the energy relations in stages 11, 12, 13, and 14 of Table I. They explain the origin of the potential energy, the kinetic energy, and the accumulated free energy that drives the experiences of purgation and mystical union (PMU) and also drives the other two divine states (stages 13 and 14) that followed it. Specifically, I am conjecturing that the following things occurred during stages 11, 12, 13, and 14 of Table I:
   • Cramped/paralyzed muscle tension and its associated potential energy was freed or released as the muscles became uncramped and/or unparalyzed during purgation (stage 11 of Table I).
   • Some of the potential energy was used up in the kinetic energy needed to drive or release the muscles (stage 11).
   • The rest of the freed energy accumulated in some way as the muscle tension was released during purgation (stage 11).
   • Some of this accumulated energy eventually caused the manifestation of the 4 to 7 second, timeless and formless experience of mystical union. I don't believe the accumulated energy produced or caused any movement in muscles, because mystical union was experienced as timeless and motionless (stage 12).
   • After mystical union was completed my conjecture is there was still some accumulated energy left over. My conjecture is this accumulated energy became associated with my nervous system, probably the nervous system associated with my heart or my entire central nervous system (CNS) or both (stages 13 and 14).
   • Eventually, this accumulated energy was exhausted or dissipated or used up driving stage 14 after about 3 months (from 4/9/62 to 7/4/62). The means the accumulated energy was exhausted on 7/4/62. Then, I had the feeling that I had come down from the divine state (stage 14) and was back to a more normal state.
3. It should be noted that a tragedy occurred in my life at the age of 25. It is listed as stage 1 in Table I. I believe it is important in understanding PMU. Before the tragedy of stage 1 - during the period from the age of 9 or 10 to the age of 25 - the effects of the childhood sexual trauma were either dormant or were having an effect on me that was too subtle for me to be aware of. The tragedy somehow triggered the beginning of a critically important 5 year religious crisis. Eventually that five year religious crisis led to the 1962 releasing of the effects of the trauma. Table I and the narrative in Chapter 2 clarify this 5 year crisis (For insights here see section 10 of the Foreword.) Thus, in 1962 at the age of 30 during mystical union I became what religious people sometimes call 'a knower of God.' At the same time, because of the release of the cramped/paralyzed heart muscles, certain deep neurophysiological aspects of my heart began to grow or develop again after having been in a state of arrested development for 20 or 21 years (i.e., from the age of 9 or 10 years old to the age of 30).
4. It is at this turning point in 1962 - after PMU occurred and after the 5 year crisis - that a psychotherapy I am calling sacred psychotherapy (SP) came into play for me. I believe most of what we are familiar with as curious outside observers of religious practice could be categorized as part of the SP process. The SP process differs somewhat from culture to culture. At its essence, though, SP is a sacred heart-centered form of psychotherapy. SP is discussed more fully in the Foreword at section 1 and at section 6 of the Foreword. The use of SP is aimed, most especially, toward those religious people who have had a childhood sexual trauma and its spontaneous release. The purpose of SP is to impress on the experiencer of PMU that he or she must now give first priority to the heart, as he or she's blessed heart works through its state of arrested development. That which was experienced during mystical union can serve as the ego ideal during this SP process to guide the decisions of the experiencer of PMU during the sacred process of 'working out his or her salvation.' If the SP process is successful and the arrested development is overcome in a sacred way, I believe the attainment of a profound and sacred religious development, such as that of a saint, is possible.
5. In my case - the case of a person who did not become a saint - SP began a few months after having experienced purgation culminating in mystical union (PMU) and has been going on - and deepening - for the past 42 years. In the Bible Belt of the USA and elsewhere this heart centered religious process that I am calling SP is usually called 'working out one's salvation with diligence.'
6. Insights and conjectures in the Extended Abstract and this Abstract of Leading Edge work, together with a study of Table I, begin to reveal the turning point in my religious life: After the turning point I began to lead an SP-based religious life. There are two key aspects of this turning point: The gaining of the knowledge of God during mystical union; and the beginning of a religious life, during which certain critical neurophysiological areas of my heart began to grow or develop again after having been arrested since my childhood sexual trauma.

"Dive deep, Oh my mind: Dive Deep."

Return to homepage.