The above simulation shows the variation of KnotsInHeart, HeartOpenness, PsychicStress, and AveragePsychicStress over a period of 960 minutes. The following narrative, abstracted from the complete narrative describes the beginning of this period. It extends from the time I left the monastery(time = 0) to about the 300 minute mark:
"I took a one week vacation at a monastery in Los Angeles after completing a difficult engineering assignment at a high-tech company in Boston. At the end of the vacation at around noon on a Sunday, I left the monastery to return to Boston for work the next day. I was to take a cab to the LA airport and then a non-stop flight to Boston. I had plenty of time. The cab stand was about a half-mile away. I was walking down a hill with a small suitcase in my hand. As I walked reflectively and in peace down that hill in the warm and brilliant Southern California sun, my heart slowly began to feel full. My mind was drawn inward. In this mood I arrived at the cab stand. I told the driver my destination. He was a rather cool and playful young man in his early twenties. I noticed that I was very friendly and mirthful - quite unusual for me since I usually never spoke to cab drivers. During the ride I was joking and at times giggling and had a great time for the half hour drive to the airport."At the airport, however, the warmth in my heart began to deepen. I was sitting in the waiting area for the flight but found I could not stay seated. I got up and began to pace the floor of the waiting room. I was well dressed and groomed in a fine suit. Perhaps it was a rather strange sight. The thought occurred to me I was on the verge of a heart attack, but I was only thirty and in good health, so dismissed the idea.
"The plane was quite full. I took my assigned seat by the window. After the plane circled LA and turned East, the Force in my heart began to get intense. My heart was opening!! There was a struggle going on in my heart. My heart was opening and because of my fear, my will was waging a losing battle to close it. The opening of my heart brought about a fear - indeed - a terror. At the same time I felt a degree of love for all, forgiveness, brotherhood and sisterhood for all.
"I rang for the stewardess. I told her something was wrong with my heart. She got me out to the first aid area and gave me oxygen, but it had no effect. She took me to the first class area where there were fewer passengers and I could be alone. My heart continued to try to open itself and I was in a state of terror for fear I would die shortly. I kept getting up and walking to the drinking fountain to quench the fire in my breast."
The walk to the cabstand took about 15 minutes; the cab ride to the airport took about 45 minutes; and the wait in the airport and boarding took about one hour. The non-stop flight took off, then, at about 2pm LA time at the 120 minute mark and, lasting probably five and one-half hours, arrived in Boston at about 10:30pm Boston time or at the 450 minute mark. I then took an half-hour to get a cab and ride to my apartment. In my apartment the first of twelve knots was removed at about 20 minutes after midnight, the 560 minute mark. Mystical union took place about an hour later (618 minute mark) after all twelve knots were removed from my heart through the intense prayer and forgiveness of the Dark Night. I estimate mystical union lasted 4 to 7 seconds. I then fell into a blessed sleep and awoke at sunrise in stage 14, fully rested in a state of bliss: my heart fully open, my soul unsealed, without stress or fear at the 960 minute mark.
In reading this description, notice from the above simulation that HeartOpenness rose rapidly from its initial value of 5% of maximum to around 36% at airplane takeoff at the 120 minute mark. During the walk to the cab stand, the cab ride, and part of the wait at the airport, the heart was opening but there was no rise in PsychicStress. Then from the 120 to 180 minute mark PsychicStress rose rapidly to its peak of 91% of maximum while HeartOpenness remained relatively constant, rising only from 36% to 39% of maximum.
The overshoot of PsychicStress shown in the above simulation comes about in the following way: AveragePsychicStress is the exponentially weighted moving average of PsychicStress averaged over a period of 25 minutes. It controls the HeartUnfoldmentRate and lags PsychicStress by about 25 minutes. The result is that the shutting down of the HeartUnfoldmentRate is too slow in its reaction to the rapidly rising PsychicSress, thus producing the overshoot. This overshoot is perceived by the mystic-to-be as a loss of control and produces a fear of death and great anxiety. This great anxiety is reflected in the intense prayer of the Dark Night of the Soul (see PrayerIntensity in the system dynamics flow diagram).
Arlen Wolpert
Draft of 5/17/05
