Come, sit! Make yourself comfortable amongst my vast shelves of manuscripts. Here are some tidbits to help ensure that you receive a proper education.

• My own impeccable education was obtained at Wellesley College.

• Perhaps you should work on your social interaction skills a bit, dahling. Make yourself a hit at parties and learn some Zen Stories to Tell Your Neighbors.

• I worry for you, a poor young neophyte lost in the vastness of cyberspace. Before some brazen hustler takes advantage of you, you'd best prepare yourself by consulting the Internet Scambusters.