For some reason, both of the costumes I've made for Star Wars have been joke costumes.

The kind and concerned Senator Palpatine (left) is secretly the evil Darth Sidious (right). But does he ever suffer fashion emergencies?

Here's the script:
Sith Lords! Has this ever happened to YOU?

You're wearing your evil black Sith robes, directing your dark minions, when suddenly—oh NO! The Senate's been called back into session! And you're wearing the WRONG CLOTHES! What are you going to do?

Introducing the latest in Sith fashion, it's the "Palpatine" Line of completely reversible Sith robes!

On one side it's the mysterious black waffle-weave look that's SO in this year. On the other side, it's stylish and completely innocuous professional wear! Now you can menace entire star systems and STILL maintain your secret identity!

In just a few moments, you can flip this robe inside-out and re-attach it with the convenient quick-closing strap!

Available in a variety of fashionable fabrics, these robes are suitable for professional meetings, public appearances, greeting foreign dignitaries, and even FUNERALS! Why, with the "Palpatine" reversible Sith robe, you could be standing right next to the Jedi, and they'd never notice you!

So the next time you go wardrobe shopping, look for the Palpatine line of reversible Sith robes!

And remember: "A vote for Palpatine is a vote for order!"


(above and above right pictures by Darth Vyola)

This costume won "Most Humorous" at Shore Leave 2000. It's also been borrowed for use by others, including the Star Wars Episode II Charity Premiere in Washington, DC (check out a picture of Sidious reading Machiavelli).

The cloak also made an appearance in the fan film Star Wars: Revelations, worn by the dreaded Emperor Palpatine (shown here backstage enjoying a relaxing drink). They added a new clasp and hood (the old hood is just tucked inside), but if you peek up the sleeve you can see it's the same cloak. (Picture courtesy of Darth Zippy.)

This all started with finding the red-and-black zebra fabric. It was on the clearance table! How could I pass it up? Eventually I came up with the "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clowns" idea and made the robe from a Jedi-robe-knockoff pattern.

I entered it at the United Fan Con 2001 costume contest. The stage presentation was simple—the announcer says it's a costume based on the upcoming movie, then I run on yelling, honking the horn, and waving the lightsaber, and the announcer says "No, no, it's clones, not clowns!" The only flaw was that the plan relied on the announcer, who completely flubbed the delivery and made it not funny. Oh, well.

The idea got a second chance at the Farpoint 2002 masquerade. My friend Jennifer volunteered to be a second clown, and I made another robe from cowprint fabric. All hail Dave, the Farpoint masquerade host, who took the time to talk with us beforehand, understood the joke, and delivered his lines perfectly. "See? C-L-O-N-E-S clones!"

We won first place in the Science Fiction category at Farpoint. Now, to be fair I should acknowledge that we were the only entry in the Science Fiction category that year. However the judges assured us that they would have chosen not to give the award if they didn't think there was a worthy candidate.

I should have drawn on angry eyebrows like Jennifer did. I'm growling in that picture, really I am, but I don't look especially evil. I did reuse the robe to play an evil clown in a circus-themed live-action roleplaying game, and that time used makeup and green hairspray for a much more evil appearance.

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